You can do this, she told herself. You’ve survived so much. Learned so much.

She swallowed a deep breath to fill not just her lungs, but her soul, to prepare herself. Then she asked, “What happened?”

He found her hand again and squeezed.

“You fell. So sorry baby. So completely my fault. I ran after you and somehow, well, I don’t know how, I tripped. Then, as if a giant hand pushed me, I landed on you. The momentum I guess. I’m ashamed.”

Greg’s tears broke Nem’s heart. She knew he hadn’t purposely hurt her. This was just an accident, a mere twist of fate. And if that twist came from the diary, if his name was there when she checked later, then she’d tell him about the diary’s power. Make him believe her because she didn’t want him blaming himself for something over which he had no control.

As she began to speak, her own tears spilled down her cheeks. Greg brushed them aside with a curled finger, but the drops were immediately replaced.

“I’m sorry too. I started the argument. Don’t be ashamed. You were reacting to me. I promise no more flare-ups. Period. I’ll count to ten, first. I think it’s just the pregnancy hormones.”

It was then she remembered what he had begun to say. The yet unspoken thing. The question on her lips needed to be asked because once she knew everything then she could begin to rebuild. She was no coward, but she realized in this second that the baby had meant more to her than she had imagined.

“Greg, tell me.”

Her husband’s posture stiffened as their eyes found each other. He squeezed her hands as he bowed his head to stare at their clutched palms.

He didn’t want to say it either.

“The baby?” she whispered.

He simply nodded.

“You hit your head. Hard. There was a bleed on your brain. So the doctors had to operate to relieve the pressure. You’ve been in an induced coma for six days.” He looked lost for a moment. “I thought I’d lost you both.”

And there it was, hanging in the air, wrenching at them both. A mistake that couldn’t be reversed; the one time in years in which she’d failed at restraining her emotions, and this was her punishment?

“I know, it’s like a knife to your… to your, your heart.” His words came out in a strangled whisper through the tears and pain.

Nem struggled to breathe; her chest tight. There wasn’t adequate oxygen for her lungs. She panicked, opening her mouth, gasping and sucking in air. Still she couldn’t find her breath. Her head spun as a dizzy wave invaded her body. She felt invaded by something dark and terrifying she couldn’t ignore and couldn’t fight.

Her eyes closed against her will as if they’d decided enough was enough. She wanted to escape this room. Escape the hospital. Escape her life. Nem needed to run away somewhere where nobody knew her, and she knew nobody. She wanted to hide.