In the car on the way home, Lenny was fuming with Ryan because of his tweet. He said nothing. They drove in absolute silence but Juliet mused that if it were a cartoon, there would be steam coming off Lenny and his cheeks would burn vibrant red. She knew Lenny thought things were bad enough without arguing over whether or not it was appropriate to announce her mother’s death adding the #AllDressedUpNowhereToGo. Initially she didn’t get it, but then her heart was broken, her brain felt heavy, her thoughts were fuzzy and she was confused, lost and every part of her ached. She sat in the back of the car thinking about it for a while and when she worked it out she started to smile. That’s something my ma would have said.

Lenny left Ryan and Juliet alone in the house. ‘What do you want to do?’ Ryan asked as his father drove out of the driveway.

‘Nothing.’ It was something Juliet had said often but had never really meant it before. She wanted nothing. She couldn’t think about eating, drinking, walking, talking, moving, sitting, pooing, peeing – even sleeping seemed like a big ask. She just stood paralysed in the centre of the kitchen.

‘Cool. I’ll be in the sitting room watching TV,’ Ryan said. He walked into the other room, allowing her some alone time.

She realised she was standing exactly in the spot where her mother’s leg had snapped in two beneath her just over two weeks previously. The blood had remained on the floor for over a week because they had left in an ambulance and Juliet wasn’t allowed to return home other than to collect her things. She cleaned it up when her ma was in the hospice and Davey had dropped her over for some clothes. He’d waited in the car, having a snooze, listening to the radio. She’d walked in on a pool of sticky, congealed, smelly blood. She’d mopped it up the best she could. He’d walked in on her. He was shocked and upset. It was graphic. Davey didn’t have a strong stomach, not like Juliet. She could handle anything except maybe death. Death had thrown her. She scanned the floor for any sign of her mother’s blood – nothing. It was clean. She wondered if she had one of those blue lights from CSI or Bones, would it appear as a giant black spider? Then she saw it, a little speckle on the white skirting board. She moved towards it, got down on the ground and got really close. Is it? She touched it gently so that she wouldn’t rub it off. A tiny remnant remained on her finger. She tried to smell it. No smell. She stared again at what was left – it wasn’t a bright red, it was ruby, closer to black.

‘What are you doing?’ Ryan asked from the doorway.