Ollie tackled me so hard, my head hit the ground

and my nose bled.

I ran inside with the blood all down the front

of my shirt, Ollie

running beside me saying I’m sorry, ZJ.

I didn’t mean to bust your nose like that. I’m sorry.

After that, both my mom and Bernadette said

if they ever saw us playing tackle without helmets again . . .

That’s all they said, but we knew the rest.

My dad probably holds the Football Hall of Fame record

for the most concussions. Even with a helmet on.

I don’t think Mama really likes football,

but she won’t say that,

just says I better never see you playing without a helmet

just says Why don’t you and Ollie find another game to play

just says Be careful

just says I love you, ZJ—body, brain and soul.

Maplewood, 2000

This guy on the radio said the world was going to end

when we got to the new millennium. That it was gonna explode—a whole nother big bang

but this time, instead of the earth being created,

it was just gonna bust into smithereens and all of us would be gone from here.

Forever.

December 31, 1999, came on a Friday. So

Ollie, Darry and Daniel were all staying at my house.

A little bit of snow was falling, and we were in my room

listening to a Prince CD, playing that song “1999”

over and over again.

Darry was dancing.

Maybe one day we’ll see him

dancing on TV.

He danced over to the window, looking up at the sky,

waiting for some sign.

I asked him if he saw anything that looked like

the end of time.

Nope, he said. Just snow.

And maybe we were a little bit scared that it was true.

That this was the last night of all of our lives.

And maybe we were a little bit excited for

some kind of explosion.

We were only ten then, and I guess

when you’re a little kid like that,

some part of you just believes

that no matter what happens, you’re gonna be safe.

If the end of time comes, Daniel said, we had us

some good years together. I’ll always remember y’all.

We didn’t know what was coming.

We didn’t even think it was strange that

my daddy was in his room with the door closed

instead of in his chair in the TV room, watching

videos of football games.

But when he came into our room and started yelling

about the loud music,

we all froze.

Who are these boys, anyway? he said, frowning

at Ollie, Darry and Daniel,

who he’d known practically forever.

At first we thought he was kidding. I said

Daddy. Stop playing.

Then he said Do I look like I’m playing?

and left the room,

slamming the door so hard,

the whole room shook.

After that, we all just went to bed.