Back Before Now
Chapters (123)
  1. PLAYLIST
  2. CONTENT NOTE
  3. Dedication
  4. 1
  5. REMI
  6. 2
  7. FOSTER
  8. 3
  9. REMI
  10. 4
  11. REMI
  12. Before…
  13. 5
  14. REMI
  15. Now…
  16. 6
  17. FOSTER
  18. 7
  19. FOSTER
  20. Before…
  21. 8
  22. REMI
  23. Now…
  24. 9
  25. FOSTER
  26. 10
  27. REMI
  28. Before…
  29. 11
  30. FOSTER
  31. 12
  32. REMI
  33. Now…
  34. 13
  35. FOSTER
  36. 14
  37. FOSTER
  38. Before…
  39. 15
  40. REMI
  41. 16
  42. REMI
  43. 17
  44. REMI
  45. Now…
  46. 18
  47. FOSTER
  48. 19
  49. FOSTER
  50. Before…
  51. 20
  52. REMI
  53. 21
  54. FOSTER
  55. 22
  56. REMI
  57. Now…
  58. 23
  59. REMI
  60. Before…
  61. 24
  62. FOSTER
  63. Now…
  64. 25
  65. FOSTER
  66. Before…
  67. 26
  68. REMI
  69. Now…
  70. 27
  71. FOSTER
  72. Before…
  73. 28
  74. FOSTER
  75. Now…
  76. 29
  77. REMI
  78. Before…
  79. 30
  80. REMI
  81. Now…
  82. 31
  83. FOSTER
  84. 32
  85. REMI
  86. 33
  87. FOSTER
  88. 34
  89. REMI
  90. 35
  91. FOSTER
  92. 36
  93. REMI
  94. 37
  95. FOSTER
  96. 38
  97. FOSTER
  98. Before…
  99. 39
  100. FOSTER
  101. Now…
  102. 40
  103. REMI
  104. 41
  105. FOSTER
  106. 42
  107. REMI
  108. 43
  109. FOSTER
  110. 44
  111. REMI
  112. 45
  113. FOSTER
  114. 46
  115. REMI
  116. 47
  117. FOSTER
  118. EPILOGUE
  119. FOSTER
  120. Later…
  121. ALSO BY C.G. BLAINE
  122. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  123. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Foster’s voice returns, low and gritty, the cadence hypnotizing. “Man sees their counterpart in the wolf. In the wild, a wolf moves to remain alive, chasing prey, fighting for their place in the pack. For us, the movement comes from fear of being left behind. Our chase is for purpose. Our fight to find somewhere we belong. Like the wolf, we stay restless to survive, knowing nothing is ever promised. We stay hungry, which is how we’re most alike. And it’s that endless hunger that shapes the lives both of men and wolves.”

The audio ends after the band has taken the stage, so only the projection of Foster, Dev, and Felix in the music store remains. I take off my headphones to listen to the audio already overlayed with the clip. The roar of the crowd, and then Adams North says, “Tell me how y’all are doin’ tonight.” More screams. “No better place to be, right?”

After three beats from Felix on the drum and Foster’s first note, I pause the clip, leaving it zoomed in on Projector Foster and his guitar.

I audibly sigh and crash back into my chair, a squeeze in my chest. He’s so ideal I ache.

“For fuck’s sake. Wipe the drool, Sinner.” Heath’s behind my chair, hovering above me, and I tip my face up to see him. “He’s at least subtle with his obsessing.”

As he walks away, I swivel in my chair. “What does that even mean?”

He grunts and wiggles his fingers at me to follow him to his setup of monitors. I roll my chair over and plop beside him in his, and he immediately grabs my armrest to push me farther away.

“You’re too sweet to me,” I say dryly.

“I’ll correct that starting now.” He opens a folder of video files and selects the one of the writing session in Seattle when Foster wore the glasses. “I was bored out of my mind last week, so I started reviewing older footage to see if anything has a new look. Jasmine pointed this out, and unfortunately for me, I couldn’t unsee it.”

After Heath skips about five minutes in, Foster’s view shifts as he grabs the neck of his acoustic. Once he settles back, his head turns so we can see into the viewing area through the glass. Colton’s slumped in a chair, talking to Christian in another, and I’m in a third, scrolling on my phone.

My questioning eyes shift to the director, and before I say anything, he makes an irritated sound and switches to a different video. Another of Foster from late October when Christian demanded he wear the glasses on stage in Wyoming. Heath speeds through it until the shot moves from the crowd to the side.

To me and my camera.