And as I stare at a dark ceiling, arms around Remi, her head and breaths on my chest, I’m trying to figure out how long I can keep her. How after all this time it was me who fucked everything. Me alone.

The one thing I could hold on to of her for all these years was sharing the blame.

Not anymore. Not ever.

Guilt’s still there, though—and now I have even more to carry.

When my screen lights up, I reach for my phone on the nightstand. Our flight to San Diego leaves sooner than I want. Which is at all. The timing couldn’t be less ideal.

I finally have her and need to go.

In the message Christian sent our group chat, he threatens to drag us out of our rooms if we aren’t by the elevator in twenty minutes.

To avoid running into anyone in the hall, I need to get back to my room now. Until she and I talk, I don’t want anyone else pushing or prying. A lot changed last night, but we still have jagged pieces to sort out.

At some point over the next two days, I need to bring the guys back to Remi’s side. Even without the details, I know she’s not responsible for what happened with the label. I likely called it with Wannabe.

Another piece.

I carefully shift out from under Remi and scrub a hand over my face, standing up. I redress and tap out a text to her while I return to the bed. If I wake her, I’ll fuck her. As tempting as it might be, I hit send. Her phone lights as I lean down and kiss the top of her head. I straighten, stare down at her, and I’ll find a way to keep her.

I can’t let Remi go again.

Even if it means keeping the rest buried away for a little while. Just until I figure out a way to make her stay once she knows the truth. The whole truth.

* * *

Very little competes with performing for an amped-up crowd. The stage grows and the seats multiply, but the heart remains unwavering. I lived for it then, now, always.

Playing the benefit concert isn’t any less potent of a high.

Between the crowd and those watching the live stream, they blow through all of our incentives for donating—they have all night. We started by playing behind a white curtain hung from the ceiling with lights behind us, casting our shadows for the crowd. It only fell after they hit the first goal. For the others, we each answered an audience member’s question, only kept playing so long as they met secret mini-goals for a song, and matched everything raised through another.