I feel rejection weighing heavy on my chest as I let the water hide my embarrassment. I’ve been in the shower for at least thirty minutes when I finally get out. I think I was hoping he would come in and help me understand, but I’m also glad he didn’t. I don’t want him seeing me like this. I take my time, stalling, wanting him to be out of the room before I come out. I wrap up in the largest towel I can find and fold up the blanket I dragged into the bathroom with me.

His scent is so strong in the room I can’t tell by smell alone if he’s still there. I listen at the door to hear any sound indicating he was still in the room. It’s quiet, no sound of sheets or clothes rustling. Finally, I unlock the door. Holding the folded blanket in front of me like a shield, I enter the empty room. I’m relieved and want to cry at the same time. I’m a mess.

Dressing as fast as possible, I grab my book bag and leave the room. I head to the back of the house looking for a door. I know just where I want to go. I find the empty porch swing and sit. I know I’ll have to face Masen soon and discuss what we can do to get past our physical issues, but for now, I think I’ll hide out as long as possible. I open my bag and get busy doing homework.

CHAPTER 15

Masen

Sitting at my desk, I drop my head in my hands. I’m such a fucking asshole. After finding out my Mate hasn’t let anyone touch her beautiful body, I check out. Instead of telling her that nothing could make me happier, I shut down. All I could think was how I let other women touch me the past five years. How I validated it by saying she was a child, that it would be years before I was able to claim her. That I was a man with needs, she would probably have young fumbling boyfriends as well, right?

No, the truth was I was a selfish prick that thought it was okay to punish a young woman who couldn’t be what I thought I needed. If I’m being truly honest with myself, I should admit that after I looked for her and she was gone, I went a little wild. I blamed her for not being there. Thought she deserved me fucking around since she ran. I don’t even know where to begin to try and fix this.

I knew she didn’t have a lot of experience, but to find out she’s not only a virgin but that I was her first fucking kiss, I was floored. She waited five years for a man she thought chose someone else.

I knew she was mine, and I was fucking Roxanne less than two weeks later. Before her parents died, before she was sent to live with strangers, who apparently beat her, before her first shift all alone. I was here making excuses for myself so I could fuck around.