“Uh.” I rub at my forehead, looking around us. “I have to say, I’m low-key freaking out about what’s happening here.”

“Join the fucking club. We’ve got beer.”

I wish he’d just turn around and look at me. He is trying to keep his distance, and I’m guessing it is out of respect for his brother.

Silence rings between us. “What happened to the writing?” I ask, finally.

“I grew up, that’s what happened.” A sardonic smile touches his lips. His eyes sweep over me quickly, stealing one glance before he shifts his gaze back to the brown fence. “It was time to earn a paycheck.”

“Getting a paycheck and writing are not mutually exclusive. You can work and still be a published author,” I say.

Joe whips his head my way, flicking his cigarette into a puddle of muddy melted ice. Smoke fans from both his nostrils, and his eyes are narrowed into dangerous slits. “Tell me more about chasing your dream, Miss Giving Random Tours in Salem to Bored Teenagers. Glass house, baby.” He raps the glass door behind my shoulder.

I stumble back from the impact of his words. I’m not used to this version of him. The callous one. Then again, I’m not used to him at all.

“How do you know?”

“Dom told me. What are you doing in Salem, anyway?”

“I didn’t go to Berkeley.” I offer this piece of information as concession. To show I’m not here to argue. That I want to explain.

“Why?” he asks.

“My mom died. A few days after I came back from Spain, actually.”

Finally, he drops the mask of indifference and looks at me. Really looks at me. His eyes are full. Full of things I want to dissect and drown in. For a second, I think he might hug me. But then he shoves his fists deep into his back pockets to stop himself, and my heart drops in my chest.

“Oh, shit. I’m really sorry, Ever.”

Ever. To hear my name on his lips again makes me want to shatter into rubble. It is the first time I feel like he is who I remember him to be. A boy who made me feel as bright and magnificent as the sun.

“Thank you.”

“How’d it happen?”

“She fell under a train at the BART.” I swallow hard. “To save me.”

Joe closes his eyes. “Double shit.”

Tears sting the back of my eyes. I haven’t told Dom how it happened. Or Nora. I haven’t told anyone. It’s so intimate . . . so violent . . .