Chapters (42)
- TITLE PAGE
- COPYRIGHT PAGE
- CONTENTS
- START READING
- PLAYLIST
- PROLOGUE
- PART 1
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- PART 2
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- EPILOGUE
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- PREVIEW: PLAYING WITH FIRE
- PROLOGUE
- ABOUT THE AUTHOR
The closer I get to the waiting room, the more it is apparent that a commotion is going on there. If it’s Sarah causing a scene about the engagement, I am going to scream. The Graveses don’t deserve this kind of chaos right now. But when I push the doors open with my shoulder and see two exhausted-looking doctors, a devastated Sarah, and a lifeless Joe and Brad, I know.
Gemma is on the floor in a heap of limbs, sobbing her eyes out.
The tray slips from my hands. Hot liquid splashes on my shins, but I don’t feel it. Brad and Joe turn to face me. They are talking to me, but I can’t hear them. Everything goes white and dotty. I stumble backward. Away.
No. No. No.
Everything sounds like I’m underwater. I cannot hear them, which is for the best.
I turn around and start running. Or try to run. I’m like a baby giraffe taking its first steps. My legs tangle. I fall on the floor. Another body launches itself atop of me from behind. The weight feels tragically familiar. His arms engulf my whole frame.
His lips brush my ears. “Shhh. I got you. Let it all go.”
I fall apart on the floor. I kick, I cry, I scream. I make a scene. I claw at my own face. I don’t know how long I do this for. But after a while, I run out of energy. I become limp in his arms. He is still holding me in his grip.
“We should be there for Gemma,” I mumble, congested with tears and snot.
It’s always the mother who hurts the most.
Joe stands up and offers me his hand. I take it, sniffling.
Together, we walk to our new, Dom-less reality.
TWENTY
TWENTY
We decide to stick together for the next few hours in a postapocalyptic daze.
We consisting of Joe, Brad, Gemma, Sarah, and me.
Sarah and I don’t talk much, but when we do, it’s not hostile. We’re both exhausted and reek of despair. Even cheating and infidelity is small in the grand scheme of life. And what does it matter that Dom made both of us look like fools if he is not even here so we can properly yell at him? The anger is so redundant, and duller in comparison to the pain of losing him.
Joe drives us to Dom’s apartment, where I make everyone tea, moving on autopilot. Sarah cuts a Valium pill with a butter knife, then gives one half to Gemma and the other to Brad. She offers Joe and me something to take the edge off, but we both decline.
Joe locks himself in Dom’s bedroom and makes some calls. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know what to think. I’m scared of processing everything that’s happening here.