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Back Beautiful Graves Save as PDF
Chapters (42)
  1. TITLE PAGE
  2. COPYRIGHT PAGE
  3. CONTENTS
  4. START READING
  5. PLAYLIST
  6. PROLOGUE
  7. PART 1
  8. ONE
  9. TWO
  10. THREE
  11. FOUR
  12. FIVE
  13. SIX
  14. SEVEN
  15. EIGHT
  16. NINE
  17. TEN
  18. ELEVEN
  19. TWELVE
  20. THIRTEEN
  21. FOURTEEN
  22. FIFTEEN
  23. SIXTEEN
  24. SEVENTEEN
  25. EIGHTEEN
  26. NINETEEN
  27. TWENTY
  28. PART 2
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. EPILOGUE
  39. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  40. PREVIEW: PLAYING WITH FIRE
  41. PROLOGUE
  42. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Joe deserves better. He deserves someone who is willing to fight for him, because he is worth fighting for. More than anything, he deserves a girl who wouldn’t let something like a crippling, illogical fear of being a curse get in her way.

And that girl is not me.

Because I fully believe I am cursed.

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It’s when I go through security that I start to realize the magnitude of my mistake. Of leaving the way I have. Without talking it through. Again.

I pull out my phone and type him a message.

Ever: I think I made a terrible mistake.

One minute passes. Then two. Then twenty. He doesn’t answer. His words from yesterday hit me somewhere deep.

At some point, I’m just going to drown.

Maybe the final casualty in our affair is Joe’s hope.

“Ma’am? Do you mind putting your phone in the bin?”

The request snaps me out of it. I remove my shoes and go through the scanner. Collect my things. I make my way to my gate in a daze. When I reach it, I take a seat and stare at my phone. I start typing again. I can’t help myself.

Ever: Spoiler alert: I’m about to sound like a world-class wuss.

Ever: I thought you would come chase me at the airport.

Ever: You know? Like in the movies?

Ever: They’re always the best part in chick flicks. Casablanca. The Graduate. When Harry Met Sally. Almost Famous.

Ever: (Yes. I’m listing them chronologically because I know you will appreciate it).

Ever: (And yes, I know I left out Love Actually. I wasn’t sure if you’d watched it. There are still so many things I don’t know about you).

Ever: I just needed an assurance that our relationship is not cursed.

Ever: Because the truth is, I feel so unequipped to be with you. And I’m terrified something bad would happen if we get together again. That seems to be the pattern.

Ever: I’m done now. You are welcome for this pile of crap-tastic spamming.

Ever: Actually, I have one more thing to say—I’m really sorry. For everything.

By the time I board the plane, he still hasn’t answered.

TWENTY-NINE

TWENTY-NINE

If I had to describe the flight back to San Francisco in one word, I would probably choose excruciating. If I had to choose two—fucking excruciating. Out of all the right decisions I have made this year, including, but not limited to, moving back to San Francisco, reconnecting with Dad and Renn, deciding to go back to school, giving the engagement ring back to Gemma—the one decision that mattered the most is the one I screwed up.

“Ten minutes to landing,” the captain announces. Numbness washes all over me. The finality of my decision hits me with full force.

No more Joe. He said he was done chasing and fighting. He meant it.