The universe has rejected the idea of us over and over again. Who am I to defy it?

Quietly, and with a heavy heart, I grab my duffel bag and start gathering my things. I stop only to glance at the wooden boat he took from Dom. I know Joe didn’t take it because he missed those summer vacations. He took it because of me. And the thought of breaking his heart for the second time makes my stomach turn.

When I’m done, I pick up a pen and a notepad in his kitchen and write him a message.

Dear Joe,

I’m sorry I was the bucket of water in our relationship. I’m sorry you were the rat. Most of all, I’m sorry I went with Pippa to that beach party all those years ago. Because that resulted in so much heartache for everyone we know, and two lost lives.

I love you, which is why I’m leaving you.

Yours, even from afar,

Ever.

I close the door behind me. I take the stairs down. Waiting for the elevator seems so mundane, so trivial after what I’ve just done. I cut the cord. I made a decision. And I feel like shit about it.

Once I’m outside, I take an Uber to the Starbucks down the street. I need to put some distance between Joe and me. The entire journey there, I’m shaking. I’m nauseous. I want to stop a stranger walking down the street and tell them what I just did.

I walk into Starbucks and order a venti pumpkin-spice latte. I don’t even like pumpkin spice. The Uber arrives and takes me to Colt’s. The driver gives me a funny look through the rearview mirror and asks if everything is okay.

“Yes,” I say. “Fine. Why?”

“Because you’re crying . . . ?”

I touch my face. I am crying.

“Sorry.” I wipe my eyes quickly.

When I get to Colt’s, I buzz the doorbell to his swanky building. It’s seven in the morning. He answers after the fourth buzz.

“Goddammit. I’m calling the police, punk.”

“Hello to you too,” I drawl. There’s a pause on the other side. Even at my worst, I’m always down for some rough banter with Colt.

“Ever?” he asks in disbelief.

“Who else is going to show up at your door a crying mess before the birds are up?”

He buzzes me in. No questions asked. I take the elevator up and knock on his door with my duffel bag and swollen eyes. He flings the door open and takes me in. He is wearing flannel pajamas and a frown.

“Nor’s still asleep. Come on in.” He jerks his head. I follow him inside. He flicks the coffee machine on. Oh, shoot. I never even bothered to take the damn latte from Starbucks. I’m such a mess.