“I can’t do this anymore, Joe. I can’t pretend that I’m your friend. It hurts too much. I like you.” I love you. “And I know we can’t be together. I respect that. Honestly, I don’t even know if it’s right for us. To be a couple after everything that went down. But I know if I keep in touch, it’s going to keep hurting, and I will never get over you. I will never move on. I will never have a husband, and children, and a white picket fence, and an ever after. Right now, you hold my happiness in your hand. I have to turn my back on this happiness and find another.”

I start making my way to the door, whirling midway to grab my backpack. I need to be out of here. I can’t breathe. Joe grabs my wrist, tugging me back. I whip my head around. “Let me go.”

“Can’t,” he hisses. His lips are barely moving. He looks strained. The struggle is plastered all over his face. This is the first time during his entire trip to San Francisco he hasn’t looked relaxed and amused. This is the first time I can feel the intensity that used to zing between us every time we were in the same room. The anger. The fire. The desperation in our touch. We both tried to douse it. It didn’t work.

“Why?” I bark out.

He rakes his fingers through his hair, looking down, looking distraught. “Because . . .”

“Because?”

“Oh, fuck it.” He tosses his arms in the air. “Because I’m in love with you, Ever Lawson. I don’t like you. I love you. Never stopped loving you. Not for one nanosecond.”

My heart stammers to a stop. My mouth goes dry. He what?

Joe lets go of me. He starts pacing the room, a caged tiger new to captivity. He rolls his shoulders, breaking free of imaginary bonds. He looks like he wants to rip his skin off his body. Like he is allergic to this new, uncharted feeling.

“You think I enjoy being your friend?” he spits out. “It’s torture! But I don’t know what else to do. You’re not ready for a relationship, and even if you were, I have no idea what something like that might look like. You don’t even know what state you want to live in, for fuck’s sake. You haven’t even removed the goddamn engagement ring he gave you. Every time I see it, I’m reminded of your choice. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t me.”

“You weren’t even an option the second time around.” I’m surprised by my own words. “We both chose him to protect me.”

“Yes.” He breathes out. “We did. He always came first. But I burned for you every single day, Ever.”