“I think that’s the issue, Everlynne. What you don’t understand—what your generation doesn’t understand, I think—is that things are naturally messy. They’ve always been messy. Perfect doesn’t exist. Embarrassment and shame are a package deal. They’re a part of life. You cannot remove these compartments from your existence. You have to meet your challenges head-on. When your mother died, she took a part of me with her to that grave. But losing you on top of that? Not being able to hug you, to talk to you, to cry on your shoulder and let you cry on mine? That made things unbearable. Some days, I wondered why I’d even gotten out of bed. But then I heard your brother snoring down the hallway and remembered. There’s always someone to fight for.”

I think about Dom’s infidelities. Joe’s harsh words before he kissed me the day Dom and I got engaged. I close my eyes. “It’s hard to forgive people. Including yourself.”

“I’ll tell you what your mother always told me. It’s a good lesson. ‘Be thankful to those who helped you when you were down, and be thankful to those who didn’t. The former are worth keeping, and the latter helped you realize it.’”

I break into tears for the millionth time this week, burying my face in my hands. Dad keeps talking.

“No. Shush. Don’t feel bad. Even if you thought we were angry, you should’ve stayed. You should’ve fought for this family. Renn and I have been working on trying to get back to what we were for six years now, and we could’ve used the extra pair of hands.”

I put my teacup aside and fling myself on him, crying into his chest. He wraps his arms around me tentatively. Frozen at first, and then, when he feels my body shaking against his, tighter. He drops his tea on the floor in the process. The cup breaks at our feet. He grabs the back of my head.

“Jesus, Ever. We thought we’d lost you forever.”

“I thought I’d lost you forever,” I say between sobs and hiccups. “I thought you hated me.”

“I never hated you.” Finally, his voice breaks. Finally, I can hear the emotion in it. “I only hated the situation, and wished your mother was alive, so she could tell me what to do to get you back.”

It is so clear to me now that this was what I needed all this time. A hug from my dad. A confirmation that he still loves me despite everything. Salem was my cloak. I’d hidden from the world, because I thought it didn’t want me.

He pulls away from me, clutching my arms. “Hey. I forgot to mention the best part.”

“W-w-what part is that?” I sniffle and hiccup and generally look like a total mess.