I continued working the room, one by one, table by table, flashing, and grinning, finally I was winning. Every mouth from every table was open. All eyes were on me. I was in a state of blissful joy. Unspeakable joy. The kind that nothing or no one could quench. No one except—

“Montana, what the hell are you doing?”

No one except my mother. Grabbing my arm, pulling me to the side, she was, as usual, overdressed for the occasion. Hair over-done, makeup too made up, and full of drama. I was tempted to make a citizen’s fashion arrest, but why ruin my chance of grabbing even more laughs throughout the evening at her expense?

“Happy holidays to you too, Momma.”

“Save it, Montana. This is still your little sister’s engagement party. And you’re prancing around the room like it’s yours when I have yet to be introduced to this man that you claim to have.”

“First of all, mother, I’m not prancing. I’m sashaying. And second of all, the man that I ‘claim’ to have will be here at nine o’clock. And then I will not only introduce him to you, but to the entire family as well.”

“Nine o’clock?”

“Nine o’clock.”

“Um hmh.” Both of us looking at the large clock on the wall that by now read 8:12.

“Nine o’clock?”

“Nine o’clock.”

“Well, in the meantime, try to act like you’ve got some sense, please. The entire family is here and I don’t want you embarrassing me any more than you already have. Now, come say hello to Mitchell. He’s lonely because he doesn’t know anybody yet.”

Not wanting to argue, I did as she asked. Luckily for me, Sheree was there with her fiancé. Unluckily for me, she and her fiancé quickly moved on as they continued to work the room. I spent the next five minutes with Mitchell talking about nothing, then five more with my sisters Sarah and Sharon and their husbands talking about nothing.

“Nine o’clock,” I said to all who inquired as to the whereabouts of my date. “You’ll meet him at nine o’clock.” Smiling to the next table. “Peanuts! Popcorn! Nine o’clock! He’ll be here at nine o’clock!” In retrospect, it probably would have been easier for me if I had gotten a neon sign that read “nine o’clock” and attached it to my forehead.

The clock on the wall was now reading 8:45. Any minute I was expecting him to walk through the doors, when suddenly from behind I heard the voice of—

“Sadie, Sadie, married lady!”

“Sam?! Oh my God, what are you doing here?”

“Girl, I wouldn’t miss this for the world. And look at you! You look fabulous! That dress is working, girl. I told you it would!”

“Thank you! And look at you! All dressed up in a suit and tie!”

“Am I working it, girl?”

“You are working it!” I said, laughing, glad that my friend had showed up to support me.