“That’s the only thing I can see that will solve your problems. But then again, given your luck with men it’ll probably be easier to hit the—”

“Wait!”

“What?”

“That’s it!”

“What’s it?”

“That’s it!”

“What’s it?!”

Nodding my head, affirming my thoughts. “I’m getting engaged in less than thirty days. Yep, that’s it! I’ve made up my mind. Three weeks from now, I, Montana Christina Moore, will announce my engagement to my family and the entire unwed world.”

“Engagement, to who? Graham?” Sam asked gleefully, catching the tail end of the conversation. “So the weekend went well, yes?”

“No,” I responded, sadly shaking my head. “Graham had a prior commitment.”

“To who?”

“His wife.”

“Okay,” he replied, looking perplexed. “Then who, pray tell, are you getting engaged to in three weeks?” he continued, flashing his award-winning smile, as he was now even more intent to know.

“She don’t even know herself,” Gail said, slightly irritated.

“I’m sorry,” Sam replied, turning to Gail. “When did the horse learn how to talk?”

“Sam, I swear, don’t start with me today. I’m not in the mood,” she answered, cutting her eyes.

“Hello!” Sam said with his hand on his hip. “Montana, how are you getting engaged in three weeks if you don’t know who the hell you’re getting engaged to? And more importantly, why the rush?”

“’Cause of some stupid rules,” Gail retorted. “Rules that her momma’s momma’s momma came up with that’s jacked up all the women in her family, as you can see.” Cutting her eyes at me. “In her family, you’re not a lady until you’re married on or before your twenty-fifth birthday. And you’re not a woman unless you’ve had at least two kids, and according to her mother, if you’re not a lady, and you’re not a woman, you’re—”

“A whore,” Sam added.

“Right,” Gail countered.

“Like you,” Sam said. Gail’s eyes, ears, and nose matched the color of her fire-red hair as she stood there boiling, rocking, gripping her hands, and seething with rage.

“I am not a whore.”

“That’s right, Gail, keep on saying it to yourself over and over until you start believing it. And don’t forget this one: ‘I like myself. I’m a good person. I matter.’”

“Look here, you flying flaming air fairy, I am not a whore!”