The only thing she didn’t really like about the place was sharing space with the other tenants. Specifically, the kitchen and bathroom was the cause of her concern. She knew everyone was not clean. People leave behind some despicable things in bathrooms and there was a possibility that someone could steal her food, if it was left in the refrigerator. These were some of the things that she would have to deal with, like it or not.

Goldie unpacked her things. She neatly folded up all her clothes that she couldn’t hang in the closet, placing them in the dresser drawers. She placed the phone number Kat gave her on her night table. She didn’t plan on calling it just yet. But she wanted to keep it within reach, so she didn’t lose it. Besides her friends, Tender’s and Kat’s cell phone numbers, this was her only lifeline. Then she removed her small black Bible and her ever-present diary. She needed to update her journal to the latest events. She had been too paranoid to do so on the train. Sitting on the edge of the bed, diary in her lap, pen in hand, she wrote feverishly, nonstop. She needed to release all her frustration and negative emotions that were built up inside of her. Soon after she finished writing, she curled up on the bed and drifted fast asleep.

“… GLORIA, you look so pretty in your Easter dress,” her mother said, beaming. “You look like one of God’s angels … You are an angel. My little angel.”

“Thank you, Mommy,” she said, as she posed for an Easter picture in front of their building. “I get it from you … I get my looks from you.”

Sound asleep, Goldie dreamed of happier times in her childhood. She reminisced about her Communion at St. Mary’s Church and all the long walks in the park she and her mother had shared. The essence of the beautiful bond they had when she was a kid. How did that go so horribly wrong? She didn’t have to search the inner crevices of her mind or the core of her soul for the answer. She already knew, but wouldn’t admit it. All her problems began in her adolescence. The rift that divided them was Angel. Her relationship with him was to blame.

In one fateful day, the day her mother died, her world turned upside down. And even in her dream, Goldie began to cry. She regretted dearly what had happened to her mother. If there was a way to undo what was already done, she would. If there was a way she could take her mother’s place, she would. If? If? If?