“Would you shut up fa a minute? Be da fuck easy,” Nikko cursed. “Listen, we ain’t fuckin’ wit dat club shit no mo’. I got a betta way fa you ta make some easy money. I know dis guy who takes pictures … naked pictures of women. He always lookin’ fa fresh faces, so I figured I’d take you down there and let you get dat money ….”

Just like Kat, Nikko was bossy. She wasn’t askin’ Goldie, she was tellin’ her. Half of the time, Goldie didn’t know if she was coming or going. Nikko had begun to feed Goldie drugs.

“Here take these,” Nikko said, as she passed her a few Ecstasy pills. Kat had told Nikko just how to control Goldie. “It’ll make you feel good …. Don’t you wanna feel good? …”

Without a second thought, she snatched the drugs out her hand and gobbled them down. This was all she needed to get by.

The photo session that Nikko had promised turned out to be on the set of a porno movie. Goldie was to be the star of the show. Everyone on the set knew what to expect but Goldie. Drugged up, she performed like a champ. She did as she was told.

Every day she was inching closer and closer toward death. She was finding it increasingly more difficult to hold on. She was bouncing between porn film studios and her room where she got high and read the Bible. She stumbled across a startling revelation, in Ecclesiastes. She read out loud.

… Everything has its Time. To everything there is a season. A time for every purpose under the heavens … a time to weep. And a time to laugh … a time to gain. And a time to lose … a time to keep silent. And a time to Die ….

Those words hit her like a ton of bricks. There it was right there in the Bible, a time to die. It was her time to die. She had made up her mind not to fight it any longer. Goldie imagined that it wouldn’t be long before the police kicked down her door and arrested her.

“Now, I lay me down to sleep.” She recited a prayer. “I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.”

Getting up off her knees, she went to her nightstand and grabbed a bottle of pills. Dumping them in her hand, she cupped the contents of the bottle in her hands and threw them in her mouth. She tilted her head back and reached for a glass of water to wash them down. She swallowed them down. She wrote a note asking that her diary be forwarded to Kat’s home address. She hoped it would find its way to Tender’s hands.

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER
17