Raymond    Does he know of Frederick Matthias Alexander? He runs a school there. An Australian originally. An actor by training. I’m a great disciple of his technique; it has such widespread application.

Charles    I don’t know any Australians in London . . . and I’m sure my friend wouldn’t either.

Raymond    As I thought, shame really, a real shame, very simple and effective. Takes no time at all. It can be very painful, I hear?

Charles    It can?

Raymond     Constipation.

Charles    I, ah, I really wouldn’t know.

Raymond    No . . . no, neither would I, but I’ve heard it can be horrendously painful.

Charles    I suppose, I mean, I’d imagine it would be.

Raymond    So I’m told . . . so people have said.

Suddenly Bert groans. Charles and Raymond look over at him. Raymond goes into the bathroom.

Charles goes and takes a close look at Bert. After a while he picks up the script from the floor and paces around reading it aloud.

Charles (poorly reading the Cowardly Lion’s lines out loud)     ‘Put ’em up . . . This is great . . . ‘rhinoceros, imposserus’ . . .

He laughs as he marvels at the script.

Raymond (entering with two glasses and going to his case)     Would you care for a libation? I hate to drink alone. I find it leaves a sour taste . . .

Charles watches Raymond pull out a bottle of Scotch (three times the regular size) from his case.

Charles    Ah, I don’t usually – not really my cup of tea, whisky, I’m not really a whisky –

Raymond (pouring the drinks)     Nonsense, there you go.

Charles reluctantly takes the glass and sips from it as Raymond downs his in one and pours himself another. Bert grunts again. Raymond looks across at him.

Raymond    We should maybe turn him on his side. An acquaintance of mine choked on vomit.

Charles    Oh dear.

Raymond    Nasty business.

Charles    His own, was it? The vomit that he choked on?

Raymond    His own?

Charles    Vomit.

Raymond (frowning)     He didn’t strike me as the kind of person who would ingest other people’s vomit. And yes he did survive and thank you for your concern. I’ll give you a hand.

They climb up on to Bert’s bed and turn him on his side. They climb back down.

You’re not going to join me?

Charles (handing the full glass back to him)     Um, no. I was made to – I tried it once. It didn’t agree with me. I got terrible heartburn.

Raymond    Heartburn?

Charles    Terrible heartburn.

Raymond    Afraid I can’t help you there. Constipation: different kettle of fish. Now if it were constipation you were talking about . . . No, heartburn’s not my specialty.

He takes the bottle of whisky over to the chair, climbs up and sits down. Charles pulls up a chair next to him.

So, tell me, what’re you doing out here?

Charles    Out here?

Raymond    In Culver City in the year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and thirty-five, yes.