Raymond    . . . there is the broader question of loyalty. As a friend of Mervyn LeRoy the disclosure right now of this act by Charles, this selfish act, of free will, and we would do well to remember that suicide is an act of free will . . . I suppose what I’m trying to say is that the negative publicity could jeopardise the entire production and for professional and personal reasons I’m loath to let that happen.

Bert    So you’re gonna take one for the team, huh? You’re so goddam noble, Ray. Saint fucken Ray. Of course, the hundred bucks means zilch to you.

Raymond    You’ve spoken at length about the importance of money, Kowalski. We’re all fully aware of those ramifications.

Bert    Yes, I’m fully fucken aware. I ain’t sayin this dumb Polack ass ain’t for sale. But I’ve had it with the pious crap. And the one reason, the one good reason I can think of right now for taking that dough and getting out of this crummy joint, is that I won’t ever have to listen to your bullshit no more!

He grabs Charles’s case and lugs it towards the door. He bangs on the door.

Open up, you lousy cocksuckin giraffe-assed freaks!

The door opens.

Go on, take it.

Bert pushes the suitcase through the door and follows through after it, pursued by Philomena and Raymond, as ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ starts to play in refrain.

Also By Irvine Welsh

ALSO BY IRVINE WELSH

Fiction

Trainspotting

The Acid House

Marabou Stork Nightmares

Ecstasy

Filth

Glue

Porno

The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs

Drama

You’ll Have Had Your Hole

Screenplay

The Acid House

About the Authors

BABYLON HEIGHTS

Dean Cavanagh lives in Bradford, West Yorkshire,

with his wife and children.

Irvine Welsh is the author of eight books of fiction

and one play.

About the Book

Babylon Heights premiered at the Exit Theatre, San Francisco, on 14 June 2006.

This play benefited greatly from read-throughs at the Magic Theatre and the Edinburgh Castle in San Francisco and the Attic Studios in Dublin. Special thanks to Alan Black, Jim Reece, Jessica Heidt, Beth Quinn, Emer Martin, Graham Cantwell and Rachel Rath.

Copyright

Copyright © 2006 by Irvine Welsh and Dean Cavanagh

First published by Vintage Books, one of the publishers in

The Random House Group Ltd.

First American edition 2006

Production manager: Amanda Morrison

For information about permission to reproduce selections from

this book, write to Permissions, W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.,

500 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10110

The Library of Congress has cataloged the printed edition as follows:

Welsh, Irvine.

Babylon Heights / Irvine Welsh and Dean Cavanagh. — 1st American ed.

p. cm.

ISBN-13: 978-0-393-32986-5 (pbk.)

ISBN-10: 0-393-32986-0 (pbk.)

1. Wizard of Oz (Motion picture : 1939)—Fiction. 2. Dwarfs—Fiction.

3. Short people—Fiction. 4. Dwarfs in motion pictures—Fiction.

5. Suicide—Fiction. I. Cavanagh, Dean. II. Title.

PR6073.E47B33 2006

2006015473

ISBN 978-0-393-35239-9 (e-book)

W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.