Charles    How come he gets to call out and we don’t?

Raymond (into phone)     . . . Oh, right, I see, I see . . . yes, I thought it must be a mistake . . . yes, I understand. No, no problem . . . Oh yes I’d love to, yes, give us chance to catch up on old times, yes, Mervyn . . . au revoir. My regards to Mrs LeRoy . . . Yes, bye.

Raymond climbs down off the chair and finishes off his whisky.

Bert    A mistake, uh?

Raymond    Mervyn’s given me his assurance it’ll be remedied.

Charles    Um, I hate to ask, and I hope you don’t feel I’m preying on your good nature, Raymond–

Raymond    These things happen on such large productions, Mr Kowalski . . . but of course you wouldn’t know that, would you?

Bert    No, guess I wouldn’t. I guess I wouldn’t know what happens round these parts.

Charles    Ah, Raymond, I was wondering –

Raymond    Quite.

Bert    Guess we’re not all big shots in the world o’ entertainment.

Raymond    No.

Bert    Guess I know more about what goes on in places like Wichita, uh?

Charles    I was wondering, Raymond –

Raymond    You’re still performing in the circus, Mr Kowalski?

Bert    You want me to put in a word someplace?

Raymond (feigning a chuckle)     Oh, no, no, I’ve moved on from circus. I haven’t had to lower myself since –

Bert    Wichita, ’twenty-nine?

Charles    Raymond –

Raymond    I was going to say I haven’t had to lower myself to circus since –

Bert    Wichita, ’twenty-nine?

Raymond glares at Bert and shakes his head.

Charles    . . . I was wondering if you could make a call out for me, Raymond? I’d be willing to recompense you of course, it’s just that I’d like to let my parents know that I’ve arrived safely. They won’t let us make outside calls, you see.

Raymond is flustered. Bert stares at Raymond. Raymond bows his head and runs his fingers through his hair.

Raymond    . . . Ah . . . um . . .

Bert    Well, Ray?

Charles    If it’s the money you’re –

Raymond    No, no, it’s not that, Charles, it’s just that I’d feel a little, I mean I’ve got a relationship with the producers and I’d hate to –

Bert    Cut the crap, Ray, you can’t get an outside line. You couldn’t get an outside line if this hotel was on fire and all the midgets in here were frying.

Raymond    Don’t talk – who do you think I was just talking to?

Bert    Yourself.

Raymond    You think I was –

Bert    Sure.

Raymond    Talking to myself?

Bert    We heard ya, Ray.

Raymond    Don’t be – why would I want to do that? Why would I want to talk to myself?

Bert    A number of reasons, the chief one being maybe people don’t wanna listen to your crap any more.

Raymond sighs and pours himself a whisky.