Bert    You knock dough, we ain’t pissing on the same patch. You got some knockout broad on Hollywood Boulevard, legs so fucken long you gotta stand on Charlie’s shoulders to get a sniff o’ her sweet pie; she ain’t gonna look twice at the likes of us. But you got a big bunch o’ greenbacks in your tail, you ain’t no short-assed gnome no more.

Raymond    I’d hardly –

Bert    What, Ray? Leave money out o’ this: you got a beef with money you need examining.

Raymond    Please, Mr Kowalski; I have a point that needs getting across.

Bert    Point away, Ray.

Pause.

Raymond    The point here isn’t the money. I’m proud to be associated with a moving picture of such high production values. I really believe it has quality. It’s a timeless story. Don’t you agree, Charles?

Charles    Agree with what?

Raymond    That it’s a timeless story. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz?

Charles    Um, yes, ah . . . I love the Cowardly Lion . . .

He grabs a hold of the script and flips the pages. Bert shakes his head and pours himself another whisky.

Charles (reading the lines)     ‘Put ’em up’ . . . very funny. That’s just . . . well, I mean, it’s very, very funny. I think it’ll be very funny when it’s finished. Your friend is a very funny writer. (Pause.) So you don’t, you really don’t think they’ll be putting big people in here with us?

Raymond    What attracts me is the universal theme of finding happiness in your own backyard, so to speak.

Bert    Where is your backyard nowadays, Ray?

Raymond    Washington and it’s Raymond if you don’t mind.

Bert    So you got out o’ Detroit, uh?

Raymond    Detroit? I –

Bert    I told you. We worked out in Wichita together, ’twenty-nine, Fred Corelli’s troupe, flying fucken dwarfs. How could you forget the flying fucken dwarfs, Ray? You were the catcher, you had to catch me in those strong mitts of yours.

Raymond    . . . ’Twenty-nine, you say?

Charles    I can’t see them putting big people in here really.

Bert    That’s right: ’twenty-nine. Flying fucken dwarfs.

Raymond ponders, pulls out his cigarette case and offers one to Charles and Bert. They all light up.

Raymond    . . . Wichita . . . um . . .

Charles    Is that prairie country?

Bert    Uh?

Charles    Wichita, Kansas. Grasslands. I’d imagine there’d be nothing interesting or exotic regarding flora and fauna. Am I right?

Raymond    I really can’t recall working in Wichita in ’twenty-nine . . . no, you’ve lost me in Wichita, I’m afraid.

Bert    You should maybe ask the marvellous Mr LeRoy if he can arrange a meeting with the Wonderful Wizard . . . you could ask him to fix you up a memory, Ray.

Charles    Wichita. Is there a lot of agriculture around Wichita, Bert? Cattle country, I’m assuming.

Raymond    It’s impossible for one to keep track of all one’s appearances, Mr Kowalski. I’m sure you’d understand if you were as in demand.