Charles    We’re all going to be Munchkins. We’re all going to be Munchkins together.

Bert    That’s right, Charlie, we’re all going down that yellow brick road.

Charles    I can’t wait.

Raymond    Actually the Mu— it’s only Dorothy and her friends who get to travel down the yellow brick road.

Bert    Wichita.

Raymond    . . . Wichita?

Bert    ’Twenty-nine. We worked the circus, remember?

A long pause as Raymond tries to remember.

Raymond    . . . No, no, you’ve lost me there, Mr Kowalski. Can’t recall ever performing in Wichita.

Bert    Fred Corelli’s troupe, you must remember. We were the flying fucken dwarfs f’chrissakes.

Raymond    Flying . . . no, no, I can’t . . .

He downs his whisky and pours himself another shot, finishing off the bottle.

Oh dear, the well’s run dry.

He goes to his case and pulls out another bottle.

Bert    Guess it was a long time ago: ’twenty-nine. Guess ’twenty-nine was years ago.

Raymond (opening the bottle and approaching Bert)    I’m sure I’d remember ’twenty-nine.

Bert    Yeah, I’m sure you would. How can you forget the flying fucken dwarfs?

Raymond    I’d have remembered.

Bert    Yeah, you would remember. Anyone’d remember flying, right?

Raymond pours himself and Bert another glass.

Charles    Um, anyone know what time dinner’s served? I could eat a horse.

Bert    Yeah, but could you eat a horse of a different colour, Charlie?

Charles    A different colour? A horse of –

Raymond    Mr Kowalski’s referring to the horse of a different colour from the storyplay, Charles. He is being witty.

Charles    Right.

Bert    Jerking you off, Charlie.

Raymond     Pulling your leg I believe is the vernacular, Charles.

Charles    Oh, no, no, it was merely a figure of speech, I didn’t mean –

Bert    Yeah, I know. I know what you mean, Charlie. I know you ain’t figuring on eating a horse of a different colour. Any horse-eating gonna be done in here n’ I wanna know about it. I know you ain’t a horse eater, Charlie.

Bert drains his glass and holds it out.

Raymond    Dinner’s served at seven, Charles. In answer to your question, that is.

Charles    It is?

Raymond    Yes: seven.

Charles (checking his outsized watch)     Seven? Splendid.

Raymond    I wouldn’t get too excited. The cuisine here is dreadful. There’s a wonderful little restaurant across the street, we should eat there.

Charles    Oh . . . I was, ah, I was planning to have all my meals here. I’m a little, I haven’t really –

Bert    Whatever ya do, don’t go to that crummy joint. Met one little guy at the desk when I booked in, he’d gotten here yesterday – Tiny Taylor – he told me to pass on that joint. Said he didn’t know what they put in the food but it sat like a fucken rock in his gut all night.

Charles is now looking really uncomfortable, a fact not lost on Raymond.

Raymond    Everything all right?