Raymond    Yes, of course you do. I hardly know you, we’ve hardly got to know each other.

Charles    Of course.

Raymond    I feel I can trust you though, Charles. Something tells me I can trust you.

Charles    Yes?

Raymond    Oh yes, I’m intuitive. If there’s one thing I am it’s intuitive.

Charles    I’m glad you feel you can –

Raymond    There’s no doubt.

Charles    Well, I’m flattered.

Raymond    My credo . . . (Pause.) . . . Well?

Charles    Sorry?

Raymond    My credo: ask me what it is?

Charles    Mmm: what is your . . . ah. . .?

Raymond    Credo?

Charles    Yes.

Raymond    My credo is trust, Charles.

Charles    Oh, right, I see, I see.

Raymond    Nothing means more to me than trust.

Charles    Really?

Raymond    No . . . no, if I can’t have trust I can’t have anything.

Charles    That’s very . . . ah . . .

Raymond    Quite. So now you know and your mind should be set firmly at rest around me. I am a man of trust and I know you are too, Charles.

Charles    Thank you . . . Raymond.

Raymond    Think nothing of it.

Charles    No, no, it’s really, It’s really ah, really thoughtful of you.

Raymond    What are we without thoughts?

Charles    That’s true.

Raymond    Nothing.

Charles    Yes.

Raymond    Without thoughts we are nothing.

Charles    I know.

Raymond    True, and trust comes out of truth.

Charles    It does?

Raymond    You don’t think so?

Charles    Um, I haven’t really –

Raymond    It does, Charles: trust me.

Charles    I will, I will.

Raymond    Good.

Charles    I’m glad you can trust me, Raymond. It makes me feel really . . . really at home.

Raymond (tapping his nose and winking)     Buddy Ebsen’s in an iron lung and that’s from the horse’s mouth.

Charles    . . . ‘Buddy Ebsen’s in an iron lung and that’s –’. . . can’t say I’ve heard of it. Is it a moving picture or a theatre play?

Raymond    No, no, Buddy Ebsen was cast as the Tin Woodsman. He kept inhaling aluminum dust and they’ve had to put him in an iron lung for his own protection.

Charles    What sort of dust is that?

Raymond    Aluminum dust . . . you must have aluminum in England?

Charles    Al-u-min-ium?

Raymond    Al-u-what? Aluminum, dear chap. There’s enough bastardisation of our language without you English . . .

He realises what he’s saying and pauses.

Charles    Oh . . . dear, that’s . . . that’s just – an iron lung? Dear me.

Raymond (conspiratorially)     Keep it to yourself but Jack Haley’s going to be taking his place. Jack’s going to be the Tin Woodsman but that’s strictly between you and me, it’s not become official yet, but feel free to quote your source when it becomes so.

Charles ponders this for a while, scratching his head and turning to Raymond.

Charles    But . . .

Raymond    Yes?

Charles    Well, I mean . . . why would he want to do such a thing?

Raymond    A thing?

Charles    A thing, yes.