He turned back to the computer and didn’t acknowledge me further. I took a deep breath, walked into the bedroom, and closed the door behind me. I dropped my bag on the floor. I gently placed one of his plush and very comfortable pillows in the middle of the bed, and when I had positioned it just right, I proceeded to repeatedly punch the damn thing as hard as I could. I felt better after about ten times. I hit it ten more times just to be sure.
I went for a long walk that lasted three hours and ended up at the library before it closed. I rented a few books with a card I’d gotten earlier in the week. When I returned to the apartment, several of Jeff ’s friends, Frank among them, were in the living room drinking beer and watching the Bulls game on television. They all looked up and a hush of silence descended as though they’d been talking about me up until the very point of my materializing. I nodded, tried emitting a smile I’m sure looked every bit as fake as it felt, then hurried away and locked the bedroom door behind me. My face felt warm. I had to go to the bathroom but didn’t want to face the crowd again, so instead I pissed in a cup and dumped it out the window, and did so numerous times that night to keep from leaving the room.