“I don’t know, okay?” she yelled back. She lifted her head, revealing her own tear-streaked face. Everything about her seemed pitiful and scared. Everything about me had turned numb with anger. Then I shook my head and started to cry myself, a hard, angry cry.

“How could you?” I asked.

“Because you don’t tell me anything!” she screamed, her voice high and whiny.

“What did you tell him about me, huh? What in the hell did you tell him?”

“Why, Stratton? Why does it matter?”

“Because the son of a bitch doesn’t deserve it, that’s why! Now what did you write?”

“Everything!” she screamed back.

“Fuck!” I yelled and kicked the cabinet door, hearing the wood crack. A train roared by. Carolyn dried her face with the hem of her shirt. She was still crying. I simmered, waiting for the train to end. She had told him everything, so of course he had reciprocated by telling her the same.

“See this?” I said, holding the letter when she could hear me again. She looked up with her angry face, and the sight of it only made me madder. “This is the last one,” I said. I took a step back and turned on the burner and it ignited with a whoosh.

“No!” she screamed.

I dropped the letter into the flames. She swept across the room and tried grabbing it, but I intercepted her before she could and pushed her backward. Her face was red and leaking and her eyes bore into me. She swung and I instinctively ducked her fist, then lifted her up and threw her on the bed. She landed on her stomach and stayed that way, lying flat with her arms over her head, bawling so loudly that I feared Gene might hear. Then I remembered Gene was gone.

“It’s the last one,” I said.

She just cried. Cried and cried while shuddering with each breath. I watched her, her breathing, her crying, the back of her head and body both delicate and frail, and all of a sudden I hated myself more than I ever had before. I turned away and looked to the stove. The letter had been reduced to ash. Small bits of it broke away and floated in the air. I turned off the burner. Carolyn continued to cry. I thought of leaving, walking to the nearest bar and drinking until I forgot the reasons why.