BooksBarbecue
Back At Dawn
Chapters (39)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
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  39. Copyright

I peered up. Jimmy was in the window staring down at us. “Does he have a gun?”

“Why would he have a gun?”

“Because he’s a thugged-out white kid from Iowa who wants to be tough. Why does anybody have a gun?”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“How in the hell could you be with him?” I asked a little more callously than I had intended.

“Please don’t be mean.”

I shook my head. “He’s a piece of shit,” I said. Carolyn didn’t respond, which irritated me further. The whole situation made no sense, and I wanted to understand her validation in being with him.

We hailed a cab and loaded her things into the trunk. Carolyn scooted in first. I peered up again to see Jimmy still in the window with the downtrodden look of a dog left at home. Nobody suffers worse than a lover left behind, and I felt certain the next few days would be hell for him. I’d been there before. Well, to hell with him and his agony. I hoped he’d feel it in his bones. I flipped him off, hopped in the cab, and closed the door. The car sped off. I patted the cat’s head. He purred in Carolyn’s lap, unfazed by it all.

“What’s his name, anyway?”

“Thomas,” she said.

I patted the cat’s head while I spent most of the ride back trying to talk myself out of the jealousy coursing through me. I was now to share a bed with a girl who had shared the same with a worthless lowlife. I tried convincing myself that her past didn’t matter. Hell, I had put my penis in places I sure as hell wasn’t proud of, but still, I couldn’t get the image of Jimmy out of my head, nor the Hustler magazines scattered across the coffee table. Why would Carolyn allow such a thing?

“Jesus Christ,” I said.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

I took a deep breath. It was supposed to be a happy day, and I needed to allow it to be. I reached over and took hold of Carolyn’s hand when we arrived, though there was nothing tender or loving about the act. It was done simply because I knew it was the right thing to do.

“Home,” I said, trying to add levity to my voice.

We got out of the car and emptied Carolyn’s things onto the front yard. We passed Gene coming down the stairs as we were going up, the television in my arms, Thomas in Carolyn’s. I hadn’t seen him since Friday night.

“Hey Gene,” I said. He stayed on the stairs looking confused. “Let me drop this off and I’ll be right back.”

I unlocked the door and Carolyn tossed Thomas on the bed. I put the TV in the opposite corner. “I’ll grab the rest of the stuff,” I told her.