I take a deep breath and shake the whip loose. A quick squeeze draws the material back into baton form. “Sorry. I’m just tired. And you’re right. Dueling is off the table. If I get cornered by any of the other riders, I won’t stand a chance. No one is going to team up with me, either. So it’s all flight and hiding. I have to steer clear of everyone else.”

She nods again. “It all depends on the course. You’ll see the map tonight. Let’s talk through your strategies for that. How good is your memory?”

We start back toward the hotel. Ayala runs me through breakdowns of old courses. A few days ago, I’d be thrilled to chat about it. We could talk about the year an entire pack of sunwolves dug under the course walls and terrorized the riders each night. Or the year that half the course forced riders down the River of Poems. It was such a spectacle. Horses that could run on water and riders who’d sink straight to the bottom if they got knocked off their mounts.

But I don’t bring up any of my favorite Races.

I’m too deep inside my own head. I’m brooding about all of it. The bright lights and pageantry have faded away. My vision is clear now. I’m finally noticing the details that broadcasted Races have always carefully hidden from our people. Announcers never talk about the fact that Dividian riders don’t own their own horses. They’ll never think to remind the audience that I met my mount less than a week ago, that establishing a proper relationship with a phoenix takes years. I doubt they’ll bring up the lack of military training on my résumé or the fact that I haven’t logged combat classes with famous Ashlord generals.

When we line up in the starting gates, they’ll point out that everyone has a chance. Everyone is dead-even with everyone else. And that’s the illusion.

The audience doesn’t know that I’m starting the Races a hundred paces behind the others. I am not here to win. I am here to be grateful. I am here to give false hope to all those Dividian viewers huddled in their downtrodden villages.

Ultimately, I am here to lose.

“…you’ll definitely want to figure out how many rebirths it will take. And you’re clever as hell with your alchemy. So it might be worth looking at points on the map where you can do something the other riders won’t think to do. You’ll want to map out the routes, so…”