Instead, I got to work on Photoshop, which was one of my skills of choice, which I learned when I was six, which is what happens when your mom’s a photographer. Which is not as fun as glitter but serves its purpose.

Berry had taken a pretty solid photo. I sort of wished I’d styled my hair, but I realized I could also just Photoshop a nice Travolta pompadour on there.

On top of the photo, in the classic Saturday Night Fever font, a blast of silver blue, I put the text, “STAYIN’ RIGHT HERE.”

I posted it and went downstairs to clean off Monty’s paws and add some lavender candles to the garage.

ELEVEN

I don’t spend a lot of time online.

That’s not a judgment of the internet, or social media, or whatever. Not that any of those things cares what I think, but mostly a result of me being the kid of parents who both intensely value my freedom of expression and have intense opinions of their own about what will limit that freedom of expression.

Aka the internet.

Lucy believes, I think I’m getting this right, that the internet is a playpen of unchecked, unregulated, often uninformed opinions and anonymous, often toxic content. She doesn’t trust the internet and thinks other people should also not trust it.

Millie sees the web as some sort of strange board game that she believes is mostly boring and uncool.

I have a Pic-o-gram account where I post art type things, but I only have like fifty followers: an accumulation of people I went to school with, including Danny, and a few of my moms’ artist friends, and my grandma on Millie’s side, who is a bit of a harsh critic and rarely likes things I post.

So I wasn’t all that surprised to wake up on Sunday and find forty smiley faces on my picture. I also wasn’t terribly surprised to see that Greenville had also weighed in, but it was a little. . .much. You can’t unlike a picture on Pic-o-gram. But you can make fun of it and the person who posted it.

Mostly Greenville responded in my comments by telling me I was a) fat or b) ugly or c) some version of a bitch. A few people didn’t get the reference and thought my Saturday Night Fever tribute was a salute. There were a lot of barfing emojis.

DRAGONSRULE9824: Wow this fat bitch needs to do more cardio!

FIGHTFORDRAGONS23: HAHAHA disgusting!!!

DRAGONBBABYGGGIRL: Someone needs some anorexia

I didn’t recognize all the names or profile pics, but pretty much all of the comments, suggesting a lack of originality, had dragon names.

I also noticed that DRAGONBALL88 had the most to say.

DRAGONBALL88: I thought they told you to GO HOME.

I stared at my phone as the barf emojis continued to populate. It felt like someone was wiping their cleats on my stomach.