But even as she told herself what was to come, a secret part of her wondered where he was on the train. Did Vronsky clean up her spilled hot chocolate or did he just walk away from it? He cleaned it up; she knew he did. He was spoiled as they all were with money and servants, but when out in public his good manners would insist upon the cleanup of any mess he made. It was her mess technically, but it was because of him. He was the one who’d said all those things to her, sharing his feelings with no thought of consequence. Anna reminded herself she had never agreed, never said anything back to him. She had done nothing to encourage Vronsky to say those things; in fact, she had tried to make sure they were never said at all, leaving the party without saying good-bye as she did.

If she had stayed to talk to him at the club, what would have happened? Would he have been more understanding that she needed to go back to Greenwich? That she needed the peace of her own bed after a night of dancing with him? Anna couldn’t recall the last time she had stayed up all night. Even at slumber parties as a kid, she was the girl who fell asleep first. She had no fear of missing out on anything and never hesitated to leave the other girls gossiping about cute teachers, new clothes, and all the parties they weren’t old enough to attend.

In fact, this year she hadn’t even attended her own brother’s New Year’s Eve party. Instead she had opted to stay in Maui with her parents and Alexander. The two of them rang in the New Year alone in the heated saline pool at the luxury resort near her parents’ beach house. Now she remembered, Alexander had not even kissed her at midnight. A tropical breeze had blown a beach ball into the pool a minute before and Alexander had chased after it. He always did the right thing, her boyfriend. Picking up litter and throwing it away. Recycling to save the planet. He was the one who had made sure their school started composting in the cafeteria, just one of his many rulings as school president. When she had seen the beach ball land near them, her first thought had been what sound it would make if she popped it.