Anna nodded but didn’t speak. She had been thinking about Dustin’s eulogy nonstop for two days. His brother’s letter about love being the meaning of life, and how he had finally learned this because of a girl who he randomly met in rehab, was just so mind-blowing. It was terribly tragic that Nicholas found the one thing he had been missing in his life but died right afterward. Anna couldn’t help but think that if things had gone differently for Vronsky during the timber race she could be the one in mourning. I found the love of my life but right now I’m choosing not to be with him. Why? What am I trying to prove? And to whom am I trying to prove it? I still love him; I wonder if he still loves me.

“Have you talked to your mom yet?” Lolly asked. Steven had come clean about what had happened on Valentine’s Day, as well as the reason he’d chosen to keep it from her. Lolly wasn’t happy he’d withheld the truth, but she understood why. It was a relief to know that it was his mother’s affair that was the cause of her boyfriend’s weirdness for the last month and a half and not something else. In a strange way Lolly felt as though everything that had happened with Steven’s mom benefitted her, though she’d never say this to him. They had had a very long talk about Steven’s feelings on cheating, exploring why he felt it was more wrong for his mother to do it than it was for his father. Lolly pointed out that it was a total double standard, which he fully admitted and was working hard to understand the root cause of his sexist thinking. He also admitted he would be devastated if he found out Lolly was with another guy behind his back and asked her, no begged her, to let him know if she was unhappy in the relationship or with him before she found herself tempted by another guy. Lolly didn’t tell him that she had literally never once found herself thirsty over another guy since she’d been with him, but she didn’t.