True to her word, Anna had not texted Vronsky for over a week now. It wasn’t as difficult as it could have been because after Nicholas’s memorial service, Dustin’s family sat shivah for seven days, alternating between his mother’s and father’s apartments. Anna and Steven went on the first day and ended up going every day for all seven days. Their friend clearly needed their support, and truth be told, they both needed the time to reflect on their own screwed-up lives, too. Luckily there were no mirrors to reflect their sadness back to them, since it was a Jewish custom that when sitting shivah all the mirrors in the house had to be covered. The mirror was a means of accepting social importance through appearance, and during a time of mourning, such superficial thoughts were frowned upon, so all mirrors remained hidden to dissuade one from getting distracted with their own self-importance, when they were supposed to be using the time to reflect upon the loved one who had passed.

Dustin stayed mostly silent, but here and there he’d express his feelings out loud, alternating between deep sorrow over never seeing his brother again and anger. “It doesn’t make sense,” Dustin said. “You find a girl who you love and want to spend the rest of your life with, and that girl actually loves you back, then why do the most addictive drug on the planet again? Didn’t he think that maybe his last hurrah could be his literal last hurrah of his actual life? Fucking idiot.”

“He didn’t know,” Steven said gently. “He probably misjudged the amount he took, since he had been clean for a while. He made a mistake. People make mistakes.”

“And now he’s dead,” Dustin said. “Some mistake.”

“Have you heard from her?” Anna asked. “Nicholas’s girlfriend?”

“No,” Dustin replied. “We got her number from my brother’s phone but it’s no longer in service.”

“If she loved him, why wouldn’t she come to the funeral?” Steven asked. “Guilt?”

“It’s not her fault,” Anna said quickly. “It was an accident. Maybe she’s just afraid everyone blames her.”

“My mother does,” Dustin said. “She also blames my dad for not bringing him back. She’s also mad that we didn’t tell her about spending my college fund for Nicholas’s rehab, or the stolen car, or any of it. She pretty much hates everyone right now. She might be stuck in the Kübler-Ross ‘anger’ stage for a while.”

“Dustin, your mom will come around,” Anna said. “I mean, I know you lost your brother, too, but a parent losing a child is supposed to be the worst thing ever. But what do I know? I know nothing about anything.” Anna looked down at the floor.