“The other reason I’m not giving that speech is because this morning I received a letter from Nicholas that he wrote to me before he died, and I’m going to share that letter now.…”

Dustin took a folded piece of paper out of his inner jacket pocket, unfolded it, and began to read:

“‘Dear Baby Brother AKA Dickweed, I am writing you this piece of snail-mail on a sheet of Holiday Inn’s finest stationery with a very cheap ballpoint pen that I stole from the front desk. I know that these days no one writes letters anymore because of email and texting, but you know I hate all that technology shit so I’m doing the retro thing and mailing this to you instead, though I don’t even know where to get a stamp or even how much they cost.

“‘Why do I have Holiday Inn stationery you ask? Good question, smartypants, you always were the genius of the family. Well, it’s because I’m using the last of the money I stole from you (sorry ’bout that, you know I’ll get it back to you, bro) to celebrate my one-month anniversary with my gf, Natalia. Yeah, the girl I met at rehab. She’s currently in the shower and I expect she’ll be enjoying it for a while because the water pressure at our place sucks ass.

“‘I have something very important to tell you. Remember that pancake breakfast we had in the Bronx when you came to see me? Well, I told you about Natalia, though back then I didn’t know if she’d call me, so I was playing it cool. And you told me about how a girl broke your heart. You were angry and hurt and told me that love was overrated and a waste of time, and I agreed and then tried to make you feel better by saying that any girl who didn’t see you for the great guy you are is obviously stupid and you’d be better off without her.

“‘Well, I’m writing to tell you I couldn’t have been more wrong that day. Love is not overrated or a waste of time. I think everyone says that when they’re not in love, never been in love, or were in love and it didn’t go their way. Why? Because a life with no love is, in my humble opinion, no life at all. I was a shitty kid and Mom and Dad deserved better than me, but thank god, like literally thank God for delivering you to them, because you’re the son that any parent would be so lucky to have. You’re like the son in a movie who’s wiser than his parents and smarter than all his stupid friends. We should write a movie together, bro! I got so many ideas …