A week and a half after her decision to stay with Steven, Lolly was at lunch with her two best friends, who were pestering her about her and Steven’s Valentine’s Day plans when the idea of the holiday blow job came up. “My mom was in such a foul mood this morning because she had a root canal scheduled and said it was bad timing because of the BJ my stepdad is expecting for Valentine’s Day,” Miley announced out of nowhere. Miley was one of those girls who liked to say things just to get a reaction. “Everyone knows that all boyfriends and husbands expect an extra-special blow job on major holidays. Their birthday blow job is probably the biggest deal of the year, but Valentine’s Day is probably second since usually it’s the man who must do most of the heavy lifting when it comes to V-Day gifts and such. I mean, it’s only fair they get rewarded for good behavior. And since I know you’re not gifting Steven your cherry anymore for Valentine’s Day as punishment for his very bad ‘Brad’ behavior, I guess you’re still on the hook to give him his celefellatio! You know, since you’re still his girlfriend. And no doubt Moneybags is getting you a killer gift.”

“Uch, why do we always have to talk about this stuff?” Hannah, who was still a virgin, asked Miley, whose V-train had long since left the station. “I mean, just because me and Lolls are still virgitarians doesn’t mean we’re like these pathetic repressed creatures who need to constantly be bombarded by the sexpertise of the one and only deflowered member of our trio.” Hannah winked at Lolly, who had confided in Hannah, but not yet Miley, that she’d lost her virginity to Steven on the snow day after the “Brad” debacle. Lolly and Miley had been best friends since kindergarten and had always maintained a strict pact that they would tell each other everything first, before they told Hannah. This was the first time Lolly broke the pact, knowing Hannah would be way more supportive in her decision to stay with Steven. Hannah was a theater geek like herself, who knew the words to every Broadway musical, which meant she was better equipped to understand that love and relationships were complicated, and that happy endings were made even better with a few power ballads of despair thrown in for good measure.