A BIGGER PEN. THE VERTICAL MUST BE IN CORRESPONDENCE TO THE HORIZONTAL. THE OKAPI ARE ALLOTTED ONE HUNDRED SQUARE FEET MORE THAN WE ARE, AS NOTED IN PREVIOUS COMPLAINTS. UNDUE PRIVILEGES HAVE CONSISTENTLY BEEN GIVEN TO THE OKAPI FOR THEIR PARTICIPATION IN THE “MINI” FAD, ALL OF WHICH HAVE BEEN REPORTED AND ITEMIZED IN ADDENDUM A OF THIS DOCUMENT.

PRIVACY. DUE TO OBVIOUS PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES, PRIVATE MOMENTS ARE SUBJECT TO CONSTANT SUPERVISION. A SECTION OF HIGH TREES (TWENTY-FIVE FEET OR MORE) PLANTED IN THE REAR QUADRANT OF OUR PEN WOULD PROVIDE RELIEF, SOLITUDE, A NOOK OF OUR OWN.

QUALITY OF LIFE. WE LIVE IN A WORLD DETERMINED BY YOUR BORDERS. BUT OUR GIFTS OF NATURE SUPPLY US WITH THE ABILITY TO SEE BEYOND THESE LINES TO BETTER THINGS. AUTOMATED SPRINKLER SYSTEMS. TWENTY-FOUR-HOUR CONVENIENCE STORES. THE SUCCULENT, ABUNDANT FOLIAGE OF THE NEWLAND ARBORETUM (LOCATED FIVE MILES SOUTHWEST OF OUR ENCLOSURE). ALL THESE THINGS MAKE US DESIRE A MORE TEXTURED EXPERIENCE. A GREATER TOMORROW. AN EXPANSION OF OUR EXISTENCE. THE POSSIBILITY OF ICE CREAM.

P.S. BEWARE. DUE TO OUR FRAGILE CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEMS, IT IS DANGEROUS TO EXCITE US.

The zookeeper was not tickled by this disclosure. In fact, he was rather displeased. The giraffes were old reliables. They’d been part of the zoo since he started as a dung sweeper in high school. He had other things to worry about—a sick musk ox, the exhibit of South American tree frogs, and Disney. He folded the list of demands, slipped it into his front pocket, and steered the group of benefactors toward the emus.

This was not the reaction anticipated by the giraffes. It had been two years since the morning when, over a breakfast of acacia leaves, Doë had turned to Francesco and said she believed their lives were not what they could be. The giraffes had spent the next year and a half debating the pros and cons of declaring their dissatisfaction. The procurement of the document had taken four months. The gorilla’s payment was costly—his response time, grueling. The opportunity to present it to the director of the zoo had been a wait of thirteen weeks. They had been patient, and his apparent disregard for their wants and feelings and his dismissal of their threat (which Lulu had insisted they include in order to be taken seriously and, as she put it, “capture their mood”) was keenly felt.

After a catered luncheon with the patrons by the lion pit, the zookeeper returned to his office. He took the giraffes’ list of demands out of his pocket and spread it on his desk, smoothing it with his fingers. He knew that word of this would soon spread to the other animals, and he recognized the possibility of a disruption.