The next morning, as Seb and I walked back to the house from the Metro station, I could hear the tinkling, glittery sound of glass being swept up. Storekeepers were out taping sheets of cardboard over broken windows; burned-out cars sat here and there like weird sculptures. But shoppers strode by as usual on the sidewalk, and in the street, cars and taxis swept past. Already, life was returning to what passed for normal, here in Mexico City in the wake of the Second Wave.

Though Seb and I tried to talk the same as always, awkwardness had settled between us like a thick fog from the moment we’d woken up that morning. As we reached the street where the house was, Seb stopped suddenly, touching my arm. “Willow, please – can’t we just forget it happened, and be like we were before?” His hazel eyes were deep wells of worry. “We kissed; that’s all. It doesn’t have to change what we are to each other, not unless we let it.”

I shivered, not looking at him. All I could think of was Alex. I hated my hands as they gripped my elbows, knowing that I’d hurt him with them. Except it wasn’t just my hands, was it? No, it was all of me, like poisonous venom oozing through my veins. Every time I’d caressed Alex’s body, kissed his lips, I’d caused him harm.

“I’ll try,” I said at last.

“Querida—”

“Don’t—” I broke off and shut my eyes hard against the sudden pain; it was a fist gripping my heart. “Don’t call me that,” I said.

“All right,” said Seb softly. And I knew that this time he meant it, and that the easy banter we’d once shared was gone. Though it made me feel ten times worse than before, in a weird way it also seemed like no more than I deserved.

Seb sighed and jammed his hands in his pockets as we started walking again. “Don’t blame yourself,” he said, sounding tired. “You’re the kindest person I know – you would never have touched him if you’d realized.”

Even now, he could read my thoughts so easily. So what? I wanted to say. I’ve still been causing only god knows what damage to the boy I love more than anything. I didn’t bother saying the words out loud. And when it came to Mom, I couldn’t think about it at all. I just...couldn’t.

We neared the house; it looked as vacant as always. I hesitated outside for a moment, the cool Mexico City breeze stirring my hair. I had the file buttoned up under my jacket again, and I touched my chest, feeling its cardboard outline. I wanted to see Alex so badly, and at the same time I dreaded it more than anything in the world.