“There was no fault – nothing happened!” I stopped and let out a breath. “Alex, please. Don’t do this.” I couldn’t help myself – I slipped my arms around his waist, pressing close against him. “Please. I love you; I know you love me.”

I longed for him to lift his arms and wrap them around me. They stayed at his sides as he stood without moving, his heart beating against mine. “Of course I love you,” he said. His voice was so emotionless that it sounded like he was saying the opposite. “But I meant what I said last night, Willow. I can’t do this. And you’ve just spent, like, every waking hour alone with Seb since I told you that. So obviously you’ve decided.”

I drew away from him, staring. He was serious. He was actually serious about me never talking to Seb again. I gave a short, disbelieving laugh. “So I was supposed to just do what you told me, even though I think you’re completely wrong? Alex, I get how you feel, I really do! But Seb is just—”

“Yeah, just your friend, I know,” he interrupted. “You keep telling me.”

He rubbed his temples again, his eyes closed. I could feel how much physical pain he was in – and despite everything, all I wanted was to cradle his head on my lap and stroke the hurt away. Yearning went through me for that time in his room only a few weeks ago, when I’d done exactly that. It was funny. Things had seemed complicated then – and everything had really been so simple.

“Look, I can’t do this now, and neither can you,” said Alex at last. “We’ve got to focus on the job tomorrow. If there’s still anything left to say, we’ll say it after that.”

The lines of his face were so beautiful, so familiar. I remembered being with him in the tent in New Mexico – the things we’d said to each other, the way we’d touched – and something inside of me was dying. But when I spoke, my voice was steady. “There won’t be any point. Seb is my friend; he always will be. And with the Council attack coming up...” I stopped, remembering Seb’s quiet insistence that he’d be there. “We could all die during it,” I said finally. “And I’m not going to live what might be the last few days of my life ignoring someone I care about.”

Alex’s eyes were cold, stormy seas. “No, just ignoring someone you’re supposed to be in love with.”

“That’s not my choice. It’s yours.”

He snorted. “Yeah, if you say so.” His gaze scanned over me, his jaw tight. Then he shrugged. “I guess that’s it, then,” he said.

“I guess it is.”

And this time, I had no doubt: Alex and I had just broken up.

Chapter Twenty-one