‘In Dublin’s fair city….’

‘What’s so amusing, Cormac?’

His first impression was the silence had mellowed her. There was no aggression in her voice. It was just a simple question one person asks another when they discover that person grinning whilst staring into the space in the distance. Her shoulders were relaxed. Her head was tilted slightly to the right. She looked calm and elegant, apart from the parallel tracks that were now caked and flaking on her cheeks.

‘Nothing, I was just miles away, watching the world go by. Hoping you would speak to me before I put my foot in my mouth again.’

No reply.

‘Please Bernadette, even if it’s only for this moment, and you never see me again, please just speak to me.’

‘About what, Cormac? What do you have to say to me that will make any difference to my life, other than to make you feel better about yourself? I moved on from what happened a long time ago. I have no interest in going back there. Why would I and why should I? I have my life to live and you have yours. You have no part to play in my present or my future. You are just a boy who broke my heart a long time ago. I got over it and moved on and now I genuinely feel nothing for you; nothing at all.’

It was delivered with calm sincerity. He preferred her anger!

‘Then why did you come, Bernadette?’

‘For your mother.’

‘My mother? My mother died last….’

‘I know your mother died, Cormac. That’s why I came. She was always very kind to me, and even after you left, I used to go and see her for a short time, up until I heard you had gotten married. She was a special person for me. She gave me the strength and the courage to move on and to help me to see that you were never coming back to either of us. So I came to say that I am sorry for your loss. I’m sorry that you cut her out of your life. I’m sorry that you missed out on her love, because she loved you with a great passion.’

‘I couldn’t come back, Bernadette. Not to her or to you. I don’t expect you to understand that. Christ, I don’t understand it myself anymore. I was told I could never see you again and I could never set foot in Ireland again.’

Her shoulders tightened again.

‘Jesus, Cormac! It’s not as if you were banished to Van Dieman’s land or boarded a coffin ship to Ellis Island! You were only in Newcastle, for God’s sake. You could have gotten a message to me. To let me know you were all right. You could have asked me to come to you. There was a time when I would have swum the Irish Sea and walked bare foot to you. Instead, for three years, I didn’t even know where you were or what you were doing. Until one day your poor mother could take no more of my suffering and let me know you had moved on and gotten married. How fucking sick is that? I’m at her house every day waiting for news of you and you are off and fucking married!’