‘Very classy, Dad!’

Annie stood in the open doorway. Cormac raised a finger to his mouth and whispered to her.

‘Shush, pet, we don’t want to waken Harry until I’ve cleaned myself up and at least look like I’ve made it to bed!’

She whispered back though her grin.

‘I think you have a slight problem there, old fella.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Harry and some of his relatives, which to me looks like about half the population of Ireland, have just marvelled at how quickly you made it from the living room to here! If I move slightly and you peep around from your strategic position, you might just see a few of them peering this way from the kitchen directly opposite!’

He continued to whisper.

‘Tell me you’re joking, please.’

She moved to the left.

‘I really wish I was.’

Cormac squinted and could just about make out a sea of faces, at varying angles, smiling back at him. He raised his hand to their fascinated gaze and spoke with confidence.

‘Good morning!’

He looked at Annie and shouted in a whisper.

‘Shit, shit, shit!’

She bent to help him to his feet and whispered back.

‘I couldn’t have put it better myself, Minister!’

Cormac sat in the silence of an upstairs bedroom. His head felt like someone had reached inside and was intermittently crushing and then shaking his brain. He had drawn the curtains to block the sun’s torturous assault on his eyes. As he cringed in the semi-darkness, he made the decision to return to England as soon as his head would let him leave the bedroom and more importantly when his unexpected audience had made their way out of Harry’s place. There was a gentle knock at the door and before he could answer, Annie and Harry entered. Annie passed him a glass of water and he gulped it down without a breath. She took the glass and left the room.

‘Are you coming down?’

Harry opened the curtains as he spoke. Cormac covered his aching eyes.

‘You must be joking! And close the curtains please.’

With the curtains drawn, Harry positioned himself on the edge of the bed next to him.

‘Come on down and say a quick hello and I’ll get rid of them. They’re just curious, what with you being a celebrity and all.’

Cormac opened his eyes to look at the big man, before quickly closing them again.

‘Why the hell have you invited half of Ireland here when I’m supposed to be hiding until it’s time to leave?’

‘It’s not half of Ireland; it’s my aunt Jean and her kids, and Uncle Pat and his kids. I think Claire told Jean this morning that you were here. The first I knew of it was when they all arrived about ten minutes before your performance in the toilet.’

‘For Christ’s sake Harry, I’m supposed to be a government minister. How embarrassing is that?’

‘Not as embarrassing as them all watching you scratching your bollocks while you slept!’