‘And Sir will be having the full Irish breakfast?’

‘Ah … yes… err… that would be lovely. It’s not every day you get your … ah… breakfast cooked for you. Is it now? Best to make the most of it!’

He felt the first twinges of his defeat.

‘And Sir will be having black pudding and fried bread with that?’

‘Sure, why not? You only live once, isn’t that right?’

The Polish waitress was already gone, presumably to cook the breakfast, make up the rooms, and do the accounts before her afternoon shift started. He flicked a guilty glance at Annie. Was she shaking her head or just fixing her hair? His friend to his left raised half a sausage as a toast to him.

His trainers suddenly felt uncomfortably tight.

He could see Tom Conti, carrying his heart attack, fast approaching from behind Annie’s shoulder, so he thought it best to distract her to stave off the lecture at least until he had satisfied a little of his raging hunger.

‘So, how was your night last night, pet?’

‘Do you know what Dad? I had a brilliant time. I am so pleased we came. Claire is lovely and her friends made me really welcome. I felt like I had known them all my life. Mind you, I think the ten triple vodkas and cranberry juice helped!’

Cormac dropped his fork.

‘Annie, that is so dangerous, and so unnecessary. Do you realise the damage that can do to you?’

She looked up at him and smiled.

‘Relax, Granddad. I’m only messing with you. I didn’t have any alcohol. I wanted you to feel like I do when I see you shove crap in your mouth on a regular basis.’

He pushed his plate away.

‘Point taken!’

‘No, seriously though, I had a fantastic time and I am so excited to be going to see U2 tonight. After all the brainwashing I was subjected to as a child, it will be great to see what all the fuss was about. We’re meeting Claire’s friends about 6 o’clock. So I’m really looking forward to spending the day with this rather handsome, if slightly chubby older man, who might take me shopping and then for some nice lunch just to make it the perfect day!’

‘Ah!’

‘By the look on your face, and the fact that you seem to have lost the power to speak, I sense that taking me out for the day doesn’t quite fit in with your plans?’

‘Oh, I’m sorry, love, I know you were looking forward to us spending some time together and believe me, I was too, and in any other circumstances, you know I….’

‘Dad, just spit it out, would you?’

‘I met someone I haven’t seen for a long time last night and I am sort of hoping I can get to spend more time with her today.’

‘Her? Who’s her? Have you got a date?’

‘Her is Bernadette, and I wouldn’t call it a date exactly.’