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Back All the Water in the World
Chapters (62)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. PART I
  4. Eve
  5. 1
  6. Maddy
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. Eve
  12. 6
  13. Maddy
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. Eve
  19. 11
  20. Maddy
  21. 12
  22. 13
  23. 14
  24. 15
  25. PART II
  26. Eve
  27. 16
  28. 17
  29. 18
  30. 19
  31. Maddy
  32. 20
  33. 21
  34. Eve
  35. 22
  36. 23
  37. Maddy
  38. 24
  39. 25
  40. Eve
  41. 26
  42. 27
  43. PART III
  44. Eve
  45. 28
  46. 29
  47. 30
  48. 31
  49. 32
  50. 33
  51. 34
  52. 35
  53. 36
  54. 37
  55. 38
  56. 39
  57. Coda
  58. 40
  59. Acknowledgments
  60. Reading Group Guide
  61. About the Author
  62. Copyright

At first I was annoyed at what seemed like underhandedness on your part. It is natural for a sixteen-year-old to want to keep secrets, but it is harder to understand an adult going along with that under the circumstances. I can’t help thinking if you had really wanted me to know you were communicating with my daughter, you would have found a way to tell me. But then I guess you have gone all these years without choosing to contact me, so maybe it’s not so surprising. I’m sure you have your reasons.

I am not sorry Maddy found you. I would never deprive her of something that is her birthright. She needed to fill in the missing pieces of her heritage, if that is the right word. I’m glad you saw fit to respond to her in such a friendly way.

I am writing to see whether it would be a good time for you and me to meet and talk. To state the obvious, regardless of how it ended between us, we will always be connected through Maddy.

I work for the Bryce Collection in DC. I may be going to London soon on business. I know you have a family. I would not want to upset them. I want to talk to you, that’s all. I will leave it up to you how we could best do that.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Eve

My letter was, in the end, longer and more formal than I intended. When I read it over I thought I came across as uptight. Had I been uptight back then? Antonio would not remember me that way. Maybe if he met me now, he would think I had grown up. Or maybe—I steeled myself against the thought—uptightness had, in his eyes, been one of my crimes. Anyway, I hoped I had pitched it right: frank without giving too much away, candid enough to hint at grievance, friendly enough not to scare him off. At the last minute I replaced bothering to contact me with choosing to contact me. The fact that Antonio had been willing to enter into such a warm exchange with Maddy gave me hope that he would agree to see me. I didn’t know what I would do if he turned me down or did not respond.

I tried to put it out of my mind. My laptop beckoned and repelled me at the same time. Ten days later I was checking a work email and there was his name in my in-box, his message having arrived as stealthily as mine had departed.

Dear Eve,

I can’t tell you the number of times I thought of writing to you after I left the U.S. Well I don’t know the number . . . Believe me, it is a high number!