But definitely more sketches around whatever images I find, and a fact or two or three or four. And I don’t know what else. I just want to keep at it long enough to know that I’ll always be here.

Sounds crazy, I know. Like, where else am I going? But this just-being thing I have going on with myself is new. And between dealing with thoughts and emotions and decisions and plans and parents and siblings and boyfriends, I need to be able to trust that I can always get away from the world and back to just being myself.

I look down at Rex’s text. The only thing I know for sure about him, about us, right now is that I appreciate him apologizing. It makes the part of me that feels wronged by him want to close its case. Thanks for texting . . . I’m okay, I write back, and toss my phone on the sofa.

Above it, a waxing gibbous moon glows in the just-dark sky outside the window. I stand still for a while and take it in, resisting the urge to think about what the moon means for me and Rex, resisting the urge to think about anything.

Nothing and Everything

REX

Saturday morning and I’m crouching down in the mudroom, lacing up my LeBrons, when my phone pings. Man, I hope it’s Carli. It’s a stupid hope—when a girl thanks you for texting her, it’s pretty much a nice way of saying she’s done with your ass—but I allow myself to have it anyway.

I mean, maybe she misses me. I know I miss her. It’s been a week since I’ve texted, but it feels like a lifetime. Nah, make that seven lifetimes because every day that passes without talking to her feels like a new death. But I’m trying not to bother her about us when she’s dealing with so much else.

I stand up and dig my phone out of the pocket of my basketball shorts. Still on?—a text from Cole. He asked me to meet him up at the secret court today. He’s spending the weekend at his dad’s and wants to get out of the house. I definitely get that.

You know it, I text back. Heading up there now. I’d planned to go up there today anyway. Been going all week after school, too, since Coach is still too pissed to open the gym for me.

Yep, I’m back to ballin’. I figure to hell with what everybody is saying about me. What they think won’t get me any closer to my dream. Yes, your boy’s dream is still alive! Can’t let it die. Shit, nobody’s ever accomplished anything without trying. And I’m telling you, now, I’m about to put in work. Major work.

I thought we said 2, Cole replies.