“Look, Carli. I mean what I said. I can’t do this anymore. I was lonely before I met you, yeah. But I knew how to handle that. What I can’t deal with is you loving me one minute and pretending you don’t even know me the next. It’s making me crazy,” he says, and sniffs.

My heart disappears out of my chest as I try to decipher his words. “What do you mean loving you one minute? I’ve never stopped loving you. You don’t understand—”

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t understand you. I thought I did, but really I don’t have a clue what’s going on inside you. But I can’t keep trying to figure it out. It’s messing up my life. I’m sorry, Carli, but it’s over.”

My heart is back, but it’s a thousand-pound weight in my chest. I don’t think my body can hold it. “What? No!” is all I can manage to say, tears strangling my words.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t see you or talk to you anymore,” he says, his voice cracking.

“Rex, please don’t do this. I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I—”

“Nah, love isn’t supposed to feel like this,” he says, his voice firming up.

“I know. I’m sorry. Please let me explain—”

“Nah, man. Nah.”

“But I thought you said you loved me.”

“What? I poured it all out to you. Every little ounce of the love I had. You think you’re the only one with problems?” His voice is hard. “Well, you’re not. I’m dealing with some pretty fucked-up shit over here, too, Carli. Even still, I’ve always been there for you. From the very beginning. But you haven’t done the same for me. And I’ve already heard all the apologies and never agains I’m going to hear. Look”—and he softens his tone—“I’m sorry. I just can’t do this.”

“Rex, give me a chance to explain,” I beg.

“I’m sorry, Carli. I gotta go.”

Dial tone.

I call him back.

One ring, voice mail.

Again.

One ring, voice mail.

Again.

One ring, voice mail.

Again and again and again with the rain pouring down outside my window.

Again and again and again until I’m coughing on my tears.

Again and again and again until I feel too stupid to keep calling.

He didn’t even give me a chance to explain. I missed his game, yeah. But is that all it takes for him to throw me away? He’s such a liar! He never loved me. He couldn’t possibly have. If he loved me, he would’ve at least listened to me. He would at least pick up the phone. He wouldn’t make me suffer like this. I swear I hate him.