The thunder outside my window sounds like it’s ripping open the sky (not a good sign) as I call Rex for, like, the hundredth time. Come on, Rex. Pick up the phone!

I need to tell him about Shannon. I need him to understand why I missed his game. And he needs to know how much he hurt me by telling my secrets. Both of us need to apologize. And forgive. And afterward I need to slip in some of Mom’s words about trust and responsibility, so our love can move forward toward something better.

I sit up in bed, hoping that a more upright position will somehow make him answer, and press Rex again. Pick up! But there’s only one ring before the computerized voice mail. More tears burning at the back of my throat find their way out.

Another knock at my door and I wipe the warm tears off my cheeks.

“Carli, I’ve got hot chocolate on the stove and it’s getting cold.” Mom’s muffled voice comes through with N.E.R.D. playing in the background. First the doughnuts were getting cold with Missy Elliott. Then it was the blueberry scones with Mary J. She’s been trying to get me out of my room with sugar and old-school hits all day.

I take a deep breath and manage to push out, “No thanks,” without sounding like the hot mess I am.

“Okay, but you need to get something in your stomach.”

“I will,” I say in the most I’m-not-in-here-crying tone I can muster, hoping she’ll be satisfied enough to go away.

She is.

My phone pings and my heart leaps with hope. But it’s only a text from Cole. U okay?

Yeah I answer, and it’s not even a complete lie. Hearing from Cole is actually right on time. I miss him. I know we’ve only been separated for one night. But I need his overly loving presence around me right now. Too bad he’s stuck on the other side of town with that man. Shame he doesn’t know the truth about him yet.

So u really done with  ?

Yeah

Why didn’t u say something?

Thought you’d be disappointed

Come on . . . u know u can tell me anything

Yeah . . . but I know how much you love basketball

I hope u know I u more

Oh my gosh. I wish he was here to give me one of his hugs. I swear I would let him hold me forever. I know

U need me to kick Rex’s ass for u?

No but you can get him to pick up the phone

U still wanna talk to him after what he did 2 u??

I missed his game

Still! But that was pretty messed up. Where were u?

Locker room

R u serious???

There’s stuff you don’t know

Like what?