“That’s what everyone says. I’m smart and I work hard. But there are plenty of guys out there who are smart and work hard and they get struck by lightning seven times in a row. So what is different about me?”

“Nothing bad happens to me. Ever. I win on almost every trade.”

“You’re right, there’s nothing wrong with it. I’m good at what I do. I am good at making money. Are you good at what you do?”

“Great. See, this is what my life is like. Nobody can be just friends with me. I have no friends. Maybe it was a mistake to even call you.”

“I don’t know. I know you were just my roommate for four months in college, but it felt like we could talk about anything. That’s the closest thing to a best friend I’ve ever had.”

“Do you believe in karma? Do you believe that people will eventually get what is coming to them?”

“Of course you do. Then when am I going to get what is coming to me?”

“I am a bad person.”

“Yes I am. But the secret is: we all are.”

“I don’t deserve two billion dollars. I don’t deserve all this success. I’m just a man.”

“Do you have any idea what this feels like, to make money no matter how hard you try to lose it?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m doing. I’m trying to lose money in my fund.”

“No, it’s not against the law. I’m probably violating some fiduciary responsibility, but it’s not illegal to lose money. Besides, the harder I try to lose it, the more I make.”

“I’m being serious. Every trade I make, I am trying to lose a boatload of money.”

“Let me tell you how. Do you think this market is going to go up forever?”

“Of course not. The bear market should have started two years ago. Which is why I buy stocks day after day after day. But the problem is that I am still right. Stocks keep going up day after day after day. One of these days, I am going to be wrong, and I am going to lose everything, right? But it hasn’t happened yet. And maybe it never will happen. Maybe I am just doomed to being right all the time. Maybe the stock market will just go up forever.”

“What if it isn’t impossible? What if I am cursed?”

“Yeah, like the opposite of cursed, where only good things happen to you. It is the reverse curse. You ever think about how awful that would be?”

“But nobody deserves it. That is the point. Certainly not me.”

“You see, usually this works the other way around. Usually people think they are cursed when bad shit happens to them all the time. Not when good shit happens to them all the time. Nobody complains about that.”

“Yes, me. I am complaining about it.”

“No, it is not a self-esteem issue. I have plenty of self-esteem. All I am saying is just that some people don’t deserve all the bad things that happen to them, I don’t deserve all the good things that happen to me.”