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Back All About Us
Chapters (63)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for All About Us
  3. About the Author
  4. Note to Readers
  5. Dedication
  6. Prologue
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Chapter Fourteen
  21. Chapter Fifteen
  22. Chapter Sixteen
  23. Chapter Seventeen
  24. Chapter Eighteen
  25. Chapter Nineteen
  26. Chapter Twenty
  27. Chapter Twenty-One
  28. Chapter Twenty-Two
  29. Chapter Twenty-Three
  30. Chapter Twenty-Four
  31. Chapter Twenty-Five
  32. Chapter Twenty-Six
  33. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  34. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  35. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  36. Chapter Thirty
  37. Chapter Thirty-One
  38. Chapter Thirty-Two
  39. Chapter Thirty-Three
  40. Chapter Thirty-Four
  41. Chapter Thirty-Five
  42. Chapter Thirty-Six
  43. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  44. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  45. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  46. Chapter Forty
  47. Chapter Forty-One
  48. Chapter Forty-Two
  49. Chapter Forty-Three
  50. Chapter Forty-Four
  51. Chapter Forty-Five
  52. Chapter Forty-Six
  53. Chapter Forty-Seven
  54. Chapter Forty-Eight
  55. Chapter Forty-Nine
  56. Chapter Fifty
  57. Epilogue
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Author Q&A with Tom Ellen
  60. Extract
  61. Will
  62. Will
  63. About the Publisher

And Daff cries and kisses me and tells me it’s OK and she understands and she’s so happy that I’ve told her all this. And it’s the greatest feeling in the world, being held by her like this, but somehow I manage to pull away, because there’s more I need to say, and if I get too comfortable in her arms, then maybe I won’t say it.

So next, I tell her what happened in Paris with Alice. I tell her how I felt afterwards, how guilty and how sick. Then I tell her what happened at Marek’s wedding in that photo booth. I tell her it was Alice who kissed me, and not the other way round, but I’m honest about the fact that I didn’t push her away either. I show her the messages on my phone. I tell her I was planning to meet Alice in four days’ time, but that I am going to cancel that meeting. Because I understand now that if I go ahead with it, I’ll be ruining the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’ll spend the rest of my life hating myself for it. I tell her I’m sorry and that I’ve been a total fucking idiot. I promise her that nothing like this will ever happen again – and I truly, truly mean it.

I tell her I will do everything I can to make things better, because she is my wife, and she is the person I love most in the entire world, and that’s the only thing in this life I’m genuinely sure of, and I know I can make her happy again if she’ll give me another chance.

The words pour out of me uncontrollably, and even though I burn with shame at most of them, and it rips me apart to see how much they hurt Daphne, it’s a relief to finally have them out there. It’s a relief to finally be honest with her.

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The hours afterwards pass in a blizzard of tears and anger and disbelief. I’ve said everything I needed to say, and so, for the rest of the night, I listen.

Daff is quiet at first. She seems almost dazed, shaking her head like she’s still processing everything I’ve told her. But as she starts talking, the fire rises in her, and the fury and the pain come spilling out. She cries and she shouts at me, and I take it, because it’s exactly what I deserve, and I can’t bear to see the hurt I’ve caused her. Through jagged tears, she tells me how lonely she’s felt over the past few years, how agonising it’s been to feel that we’re drifting apart without either of us even acknowledging it.