That instant spark between us in the bar after the play, and the realisation in the maze that I’d made her find me. The memory of her and Mum looking at me fondly across the dinner table. The shame of knowing she gave up her Rising Star evening to come home and comfort me, then the night of the pantomime, when we ate turkey sandwiches and retraced the early days of our relationship. The searing guilt and regret over what happened with Alice in Paris. The way Daff was there for me at Mum’s funeral – the way she’s always been there for me, no matter what. And then the sickening, hopeless terror I felt in 2023, knowing I’d lost her forever.

And finally, that piece of advice Harv gave me as I lay on his sofa bed with my life in tatters: It’s not going to be easy to win her trust back. It might be the hardest thing you ever do in your life. But isn’t it worth the effort?

This is my last chance. I can’t risk losing her again. I just can’t. This is the right thing to do – even if it ruins everything.

‘Ben?’ Daphne urges, her eyes searching mine. ‘What is it?’

I swallow the lump that’s rising steadily in my throat. ‘I just … There are some things I need to tell you. But before I do, I want to say sorry. For how I’ve been over the past couple of years – and before that, to be honest. I’m so sorry. You’re … Daff, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I love you so, so much.’

Her beautiful face is still etched with anxiety. ‘I … love you too,’ she says tentatively.

‘OK … Well, here goes.’

And right there in the attic, just after midnight on Christmas Day, I take a deep breath and tell Daphne the truth. About everything.

I tell her what I said to Mum before she died, and how the guilt of it has eaten into me ever since. I tell her I’m sorry for pushing her away in the months and years after Mum’s death. I tell her I should have let us grieve together, but I was too stupid and selfish and shattered to realise it. I tell her about my dad, too: how I’ve spent years either worrying that I’ll turn into him, or desperately wanting to prove him wrong for abandoning me. I tell her that all my fears and doubts about work and marriage and having kids were linked to him leaving, and it’s a mess I’ve spent twenty-five years trying to untangle, but I think I’m finally free of it now.