BooksBarbecue
Back All About Us Save as PDF
Chapters (63)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for All About Us
  3. About the Author
  4. Note to Readers
  5. Dedication
  6. Prologue
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Chapter Fourteen
  21. Chapter Fifteen
  22. Chapter Sixteen
  23. Chapter Seventeen
  24. Chapter Eighteen
  25. Chapter Nineteen
  26. Chapter Twenty
  27. Chapter Twenty-One
  28. Chapter Twenty-Two
  29. Chapter Twenty-Three
  30. Chapter Twenty-Four
  31. Chapter Twenty-Five
  32. Chapter Twenty-Six
  33. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  34. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  35. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  36. Chapter Thirty
  37. Chapter Thirty-One
  38. Chapter Thirty-Two
  39. Chapter Thirty-Three
  40. Chapter Thirty-Four
  41. Chapter Thirty-Five
  42. Chapter Thirty-Six
  43. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  44. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  45. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  46. Chapter Forty
  47. Chapter Forty-One
  48. Chapter Forty-Two
  49. Chapter Forty-Three
  50. Chapter Forty-Four
  51. Chapter Forty-Five
  52. Chapter Forty-Six
  53. Chapter Forty-Seven
  54. Chapter Forty-Eight
  55. Chapter Forty-Nine
  56. Chapter Fifty
  57. Epilogue
  58. Acknowledgements
  59. Author Q&A with Tom Ellen
  60. Extract
  61. Will
  62. Will
  63. About the Publisher

At any second I’ll find myself somewhere else, on some other date. Maybe I’ll even be back in 2020.

But God, I wish I could stay here. Just for one more day.

I nuzzle further into Daff’s neck, and she murmurs softly. For her, it will be like this night never happened.

But as I lie here next to her, I know that I’ll never forget it.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Dear Ben,

(That felt quite formal, didn’t it? ‘Dear Ben’. But then this whole writing-a-letter thing is weirdly formal anyway. So what the hell, I’m sticking with it. I’m owning it. DEAR BEN.)

I know we said no messaging and no speaking over these next few months, but we never said anything about no letter-writing. And we definitely didn’t say anything about no Christmas cards. And since this is very obviously a Christmas card (see reindeer picture on front), that means I’m not technically breaking any rules, am I?

So: Merry Christmas! I hope this actually gets to you in time for Christmas Day. As I write, it is December 17th in New York, so SURELY that’s enough time, even if the entire French postal service is on strike. Which – let’s be honest – they probably are.

How is Paris, anyway? Is your French still sub-GCSE level? Have you figured out when to say ‘tu’ and when to say ‘vous’? Everything is OK my end. I am basically a native New Yorker these days – I live solely on pretzels and always shout ‘I’M WALKING HERE!’ every time I step into a road. But no, seriously, it is fun. The work is hard, but it’s really interesting and I’m getting to meet lots of new people. I definitely think it was the right thing to come here.

I really hope you’re OK out there. I hate to think of you all alone on Christmas Day. I hope you’re doing something fun.

I don’t know why I’m writing, really. I suppose it’s just to say that I miss you. A lot, actually. But I still think it’s a good thing that we’re spending this time apart. I keep thinking about what you said after Jamila’s wedding. It really freaked me out, because we’ve been together nearly ten years now and I guess I thought we wanted the same things in the long run.

But maybe we don’t. I know that sounds horrible, but

I stop reading then, and lay the card back down on the table. I’m not sure I need to reread the whole thing. I’m not sure I’m up to it.

Instead, I sip my bitter machine-made coffee and stare out over the rusty iron railing of the tiny eighth-floor balcony.