He pointed to the sky, where the Daemons were vibrating uncontrollably, looking at one another in bewilderment. Without warning, a teal Daemon suddenly exploded in a shower of turquoise goo.

‘Yes, of course! Daemons explode at the right frequency! Keep going, old girl!’ Zeus cheered, as a cerise Daemon detonated, filling the air with pink slime.

‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!’ Persephone continued her endless note, causing more Daemons to explode with every second. Everywhere the eye could see, they were bursting into splatters of colour, as if the sky were filled with a slimy firework display.

‘Urgh,’ said Zeus, wiping a large yellow glob out of his eye. ‘Go on, girl, give it some welly!’

And Persephone sang on, the last few Daemons exploding left and right. Before long, her big finale had eradicated the entire Daemon army.

‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-hh,’ Persephone spluttered, finally running out of breath as a large dollop of pink goo landed squarely on her head.

Zeus looked up at the skies. The Daemons were gone.

‘I love you, dollface,’ said Hades, gathering his wife in his arms. ‘I always knoo it – you have a killer voice.’

‘Aw, you say the sweetest things,’ said Persephone, as she accepted his big smooch.

‘I think we’ve done it,’ said Zeus cautiously, looking around at the enemy troops, who were variously too full, too exploded or too worried about their wet nail polish to wage war on anyone. ‘We’ve defeated Thanatos’s army! We’ve—’

‘ZEUS!!!’

An almighty roar thundered around the stones.

‘Pleash tell me you’ve upshet Hera again?’ said Ares, using his binoculars to scan the horizon.

‘That’s not her,’ said Zeus nervously. ‘It’s not nearly loud enough . . .’

Slow, thudding footsteps shook the ground. The sun, still forging its way towards the zenith, was slowly obscured by a vast, dark shadow.

‘Oh, crumbs,’ mumbled Zeus. ‘I think we forgot someone.’

‘Who?’ said Ares. ‘I’ve got everyone here: shatyrs, gorgonsh, fairiesh, shentaursh, goblinsh, inmates of Tartarush. Who have I forgotten?’

‘The Titans!’ gasped Athene, as The Ram and The Brain came lumbering into view.

‘Shtay calm,’ said Ares, removing a gun from his pocket. ‘Thish shtun gun ish sho powerful it will . . . Oh!’

And Ares crumpled to the ground as the stun gun fired spontaneously at his foot.

‘FINALLY!’ Achilles bellowed. ‘SOME REAL ACTION! CHAAAAAAAAARGE!’

Without warning, the war hero launched himself at the Titans with his spear in his hand. It was a determined charge by an experienced solider. But as soon as Achilles reached them, The Ram simply batted him away with his hand, sending him flying in a shower of body parts across the grass.

‘Achilles!’ Athene shouted. ‘Are you OK?’

‘I’M ALL RIGHT!’ Achilles’s head groaned. ‘NOW, HAS ANYONE SEEN MY BUTT?’

‘So,’ The Ram growled, staring straight at Zeus. ‘Will you fight like a man? Or will you run like a mouse?’