Cover

A MESSAGE FROM CHICKEN HOUSE

It can’t really be the final book, can it? Throughout this incredible series, I’ve been banjaxed by laughter, pummelled into tears, and worried by everything that could – and does – go hilariously wrong for mortal boy Elliot and his divine friends. But this fun epic of a boy and his Gods is also a story of family and love and right and wrong and death and life and justice and fairness and – oh, well it’s about everything. And I love it! This is the best book yet (although I say that every time) and now I’m going back to book one to start all over again. You should too (only after reading this one, obviously).

And guess what? Maz Evans is now writing something new . . . CAN’T WAIT!!!!

BARRY CUNNINGHAM

Publisher

Chicken House

PS There’s a really useful WHAT’S WHAT here!

Title Page

For my Zach

Who is just like Elliot. A true and brilliant hero.

Your story will always be the greatest one I have created. I love watching you write it.

It’s real love. Use the flush.

Also by Maz Evans

Who Let the Gods Out?

Simply the Quest

Beyond the Odyssey

Daily Argus

Daily Argus

(Limited Edition)

The great Daily Argus has taken a new role

(And so this is scribbled on unquilted loo roll)

We’ve gone underground in more senses than one

We’re stuck down in Tartarus, which isn’t much fun

But we are devoted to bringing you news

(And thus there’s no bog roll in both the gents’ loos)

The Daemon of Death is preparing for war

With all Elementals to settle his score

The young mortal child will give him the stones

The price? His mother the Afterlife owns

There’s still one more gem that the boy must acquire

The Fire Stone, forged from a gleaming sapphire

If the boy can withstand a trial by flame

His late mother’s soul is the prize he will claim

The Daemon has sworn that this time he won’t trick ’im

But the kid could end up like a barbecued chicken

If he lives, for the mortals it ain’t such good news

(A bit like for us if we need number twos)

It comes down to this – and it brings us no joy:

The fate of the world rests on one mortal boy

1. Hell or High Water

1. Hell or High Water

‘You have got to be kidding me.’

Elliot Hooper let out a deep sigh. Another way to die horribly. It must be Friday.

‘Nope,’ grinned Hypnos, Daemon of Sleep. ‘Welcome to the River Phlegethon! All you have to do is dive in and grab the Fire Stone! Simples! But caution: this water is h-h-hot!’

‘Great,’ Elliot groaned, peering from the balcony edge into the blazing river of fire that raged between him and the final Chaos Stone. Even from the relative safety of Thanatos’s cliffside office in Tartarus, he could feel the wall of heat blasting off the flaming river metres below. He could just make out a blue glow shining through the flames on the riverbed. It was a huge sapphire: the Fire Stone. It was right there. Elliot reached a hand over the balustrade towards it. Perhaps the river itself wasn’t that hot . . .

‘Ouch!’ he cried as a flame leapt up from the inferno and bit the tip of his index finger. Elliot whipped it to his mouth and sucked his scorched skin. So this was it. He was going to be toasted like a marshmallow in this immortal river of fire if he even attempted to retrieve the Fire Stone. This totally sucked.

A wave of grief swelled unbidden from his heart. These waves kept on catching him out and Elliot was struggling to keep them under control. He forced it back down, deep into his soul, where it had many others for company. He had to build a dam against these moments every time his mum came to mind – they were distracting. And they hurt. It had been just two days since Josie had . . . He couldn’t even think it, let alone say it. But it didn’t matter. All he had to do was this one thing, and he’d get her back. Once Thanatos had all four Chaos Stones, Elliot could have Josie back again. There was no point in crying. His mum wasn’t really gone.

Inspiration suddenly struck. Elliot rummaged in his pocket and drew out his father’s gold watch. He swallowed the hatred that swilled in his stomach at the very thought of his da— David Hooper, that useless excuse for a parent, who had handed Home Farm over to Patricia Horse’s-Bum. He had cost Elliot his home. And those crucial moments had cost him the chance to say goodbye to his . . .

Elliot shut his eyes to push away the pain that bruised his soul every time he thought about Josie. He added another layer to the dam.

It isn’t goodbye, he silently told himself. This is why you have to do this. This is the only way. This is how you get her back.

He opened the lid of the pocket watch and winced, his sleep-deprived eyes dazzled by the gems inside: the diamond Earth Stone, the emerald Air Stone and the ruby Water Stone. He held the watch above his head.

‘RAIN!’ he commanded, feeling the addictive surge of power that the Chaos Stones always gave him.

A beam of red light shot from the Water Stone and pierced the dark air of Tartarus. A vast black cloud formed above the burning river and, with a distant rumble of thunder, rain started to pour down on the river of fire.

Elliot stood back and waited for the blaze to die down.

‘Why isn’t it working?’ he said after a few moments.

‘Wrong sort of rain,’ drawled Thanatos, walking up behind him.

Elliot shuddered involuntarily – the Daemon of Death’s voice never failed to chill him to the core.

‘What do you mean?’ he growled impatiently, watching the raindrops fizzle out as they fell on the raging flames.

‘Mortal rain, immortal flame,’ said Thanatos plainly. ‘It’s simply not strong enough. You may as well try blowing the Phlegethon out like a birthday candle.’

‘So how is it going to free your Daemon army?’ Elliot snapped, gesturing towards the stone prison that held the Daemon prisoners on an island in the far distance.

‘Because it has been prophesized,’ shrugged Thanatos. ‘I don’t make the rules. When the Gods imprisoned my Daemons, it was prophesized that only the Chaos Stones could free them. My idiotic brother, on the other hand . . .’

‘Don’t mind me,’ Hypnos sulked.

‘Sorry,’ said Thanatos, with an apologetic bow, ‘my incredibly idiotic brother just carelessly tossed the Fire Stone in the River Phlegethon as if he were discarding underwear in the laundry basket. The Chaos Stones won’t help you.’

Elliot lowered his arm and the red beam snapped back into the watch.

‘Of course, I could always have a go . . .’ whispered Thanatos, reaching for the watch containing the stones. But the instant he came near Elliot, his arm was violently repelled by the invisible force that forbade him from touching this mortal boy, who had freed him from Stonehenge.

‘Worth a try,’ he smirked.

‘Why don’t you just jump in and get it?’ Elliot grumbled. ‘You can’t die. Kind of an advantage over me.’

‘True,’ said Thanatos. ‘But I can still be burnt horribly by the attempt and live out my endless days in agony. Honestly, you have the better end of the deal.’

‘Thanks,’ scowled Elliot. How was he ever going to do this?

He followed Thanatos and Hypnos back into the office and shut the balcony doors on his fate.

‘Where’s Mumsy?’ pouted Hypnos, slumping into a stone chair. ‘She promised she’d give me my baby back today. Where is she?’

‘Who cares?’ muttered Elliot, dropping into a second chair. He hated Nyx, Goddess of the Night, for what she’d done to his friend Hermes. His heart beat a little harder at the thought of the Messenger God still lying unconscious from the poisoned arrow Nyx had shot at him. Would he ever see Hermes again? He was the only God who ever really cared about him. The others had only been using him to get their stupid Chaos Stones. He knew that now.

Another wave threatened his equilibrium. He pushed it back.

‘Mother is busy running an important errand.’ Thanatos settled himself on his stone throne behind his long black desk. ‘Your silly little sleep trumpet will have to wait until tomorrow when she returns.’

‘It’s not silly,’ whined Hypnos. ‘You’re silly . . .’

‘So how do I put the flames out?’ said Elliot impatiently, not in the mood to hear the Daemon twins’ latest squabble. He looked around the dingy office, lit only by torches on the wall and the menacing glow of the river below. This place was grim. He couldn’t wait to leave. With Mum.

‘You don’t,’ said Thanatos crossing his long fingers.

‘Then how do I get the Fire Stone?’ snapped Elliot. ‘In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly fireproof.’

‘Well . . . perhaps you are?’ Thanatos mused.

Elliot clenched his teeth.

‘Could you, just for once, give me a straight answer?’ he hissed. ‘You are epically annoying.’

‘Forgive me,’ said Thanatos slowly. ‘You recall Pythia’s prophecy? It refers to “a young mortal child with the heart of a lion”. Apparently, that’s you.’

Elliot shrugged. That same prophecy had also said that he could ‘conquer the world with the help of four stones’. He remembered that bit.

‘Well, now we’re going to find out for sure,’ said Thanatos. ‘Only the truly courageous can survive the flames of the Phlegethon. Your courage will protect you from the fire like a suit of armour.’

Elliot glanced at his burnt finger.

‘And how do I know if I’m truly courageous?’ he said.

‘You dive head first into the flames,’ said Thanatos. ‘The answer comes back pretty quickly.’

‘And if I do this, you will definitely give me my mum back?’ said Elliot uncertainly.

‘For the last time, I have sworn an oath on the Styx,’ Thanatos insisted. ‘If I break it, I will lose my kardia and become mortal. Quite aside from the sheer repellence of the idea, it’s not much use having power over the Earth and everything in it if I can be knocked down by a number 73 bus. I will return your mother’s soul, you lead it out of the Underworld, and, as soon as you reach the Earth, she will be restored to her mortal form, just as she was before she—’

‘I get it,’ Elliot interrupted, not wanting to hear the words said out loud. His mum wasn’t really – not living. She was coming back.

Elliot stood up and returned to the window. He watched wave after wave of flame ebb along the river. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to have his mum back. But what if he couldn’t?

The flames outside suddenly roared.

‘They can sense your fear,’ whispered Thanatos, lurching up over his shoulder. ‘You have to get it under control. Tiredness won’t help. I’ve been told you’re not sleeping.’

Elliot said nothing. For the brief moments his body allowed him to sleep, his mind tortured him with dreams of Josie. Every time he slept, she was alive and well and loving him as she always had. Every time he awoke, he faced again the cruel reality of life without her. It was easier just to stay awake.

‘We try tomorrow. Get some rest,’ Thanatos declared, nodding at the door, which opened at his silent command. ‘You’re going to need your strength. Every last drop of it.’

Elliot rose from the chair and walked out of the office on to the fiery plains of Tartarus. He crossed over a bridge that took him away from the Phlegethon and back towards his sleeping quarters. The screams of its eternal inmates polluted the ash-filled air. On the dark horizon, Elliot could see the hill and valley where Sisyphus, Tantalus and Asteria’s family toiled fruitlessly at their endless punishments. Everywhere in between, the fiery landscape was filled with Elementals making weapons and practising how to use them. He ducked as a rock whizzed over his head from a makeshift catapult.

‘Sorry,’ shouted a young satyr.

‘No worries,’ Elliot mumbled as he ploughed on across the scorched land. Hypnos was flittering along behind him. Elliot could sense he was waiting for Thanatos to be far enough away before he spoke.

‘You don’t have to go through with this, you know,’ whispered the Daemon of Sleep. ‘I can help you escape. I can hide you where Thanatos would never find you. You can just leave now.’

‘Why would you do that?’ Elliot asked, stopping to look at the Daemon of Sleep. ‘You bored of trying to kill me?’

‘I guess so,’ Hypnos shrugged. ‘Besides – think of the fun you could have with the Chaos Stones. The world would be your oyster! Your hurricane-filled, flooded, earthquakey oyster if you wanted. And we could get up to all sorts . . .’

‘I can’t,’ Elliot said simply. ‘I have to do this.’

He thought of Josie and took a deep breath. While there was even the most desperate chance of seeing her again – whatever he had to do, no matter how risky it was and how slim the chances of succeeding – Elliot Hooper wasn’t going anywhere.

2. Going, Going, Gorgon

2. Going, Going, Gorgon

Virgo surveyed the solid stone wall in front of her.

‘Right,’ she said, hoping she sounded determined. ‘This one is going to work. Are you ready?’

Her former colleagues from the Zodiac Council – now fellow prisoners – looked uncertainly from one to another in the confines of their dank jail in the deepest cell in Tartarus.

‘Er, Virgo,’ whispered Cancer the crab. ‘Far be it from me to be a stickler for procedure . . .’

‘Yes – what?’ huffed Virgo impatiently. She had been trying to escape for two days now. Thoughts of eternal imprisonment, Thanatos destroying the Earth with the Chaos Stones and what Elliot might get up to without her were of course her main motives. But the prospect of one more second cooped up with the Zodiac Councillors was rapidly working its way up the list.

‘It’s just,’ whimpered Aquarius the water bearer, ‘that this isn’t strictly Council protocol . . .’

‘What do you mean, protocol?’ seethed Virgo. ‘Do you want to get out of here or not?’

The Councillors looked at each other again.

‘Well,’ said Taurus the bull, ‘given that I am still officially leader of this organization, might I suggest we put it to a vote?’

‘Yes, yes, good idea,’ muttered his colleagues. Virgo stood dumbstruck.

‘Seriously?!’ Virgo cried. ‘You want to vote on whether or not we escape from an eternal prison?!’

‘Sounds excellent,’ said Pisces the fish. ‘I vote in favour of a vote.’

‘Hear, hear,’ roared Leo the lion. ‘I second the vote in favour of a vote.’

‘And I third the vote he seconds . . . for . . . a vote . . . vote,’ said Sagittarius unsurely.

Virgo unleashed her newly perfected death stare on the group. It was proving a most useful accessory.

‘All those in favour of escaping from this damp, isolated hellhole, please raise your hands, pincers, hooves or any other bodily appendages in agreement,’ said Taurus.

Eleven upper-body parts shot into the air. Virgo ignored the fact that Castor, one of the Gemini twins, had childishly elected to stick up his rear end.

‘Right then,’ she sighed. ‘Let’s get on with it.’

‘Wait a moment,’ said Taurus. ‘We haven’t checked if there are any votes against.’

Virgo counted the Councillors again. Everyone had already voted.

‘But it’s unanimous,’ she said through clenched teeth, trying to control the curiously hot feeling rising up through her chest. ‘This is ridiculous.’

‘This is democracy!’ bellowed Pisces. ‘All those against.’

There was utter stillness in the cell.

‘Please count the votes,’ said Taurus to Pisces.

Virgo watched, slack-jawed, as Pisces counted nothing whatsoever. Had her colleagues always been this . . . sub-optimal?

‘I have checked and had the result independently verified,’ said Pisces. ‘The decision is unanimously carried to attempt to escape this damp, isolated hellhole.’

‘Thank you,’ said Virgo. ‘Now if you’d all just—’

‘Wait a moment,’ said Taurus. ‘Now we have to wait.’

Virgo looked around the dark prison cell.

‘For what?’ she asked.

‘For a thirty-day consultation period,’ Taurus began.

‘OH, SNORDLESNOT!’ yelled Virgo, to the horrified gasps of the other inmates. ‘Right – enough. We are getting out of here – we have to stop Thanatos—’

‘We deny all knowledge of that,’ Scorpio the scorpion chipped in.

Virgo turned to face the Councillor.

‘You do, do you?’ said Virgo. ‘You deny all knowledge of the Daemon of Death, who came up to Elysium two days ago, arrested us all with his Titans and threw us down here? In person? Face to face? That Daemon?’

Scorpio looked fruitlessly at his colleagues for help.

‘Yes, that one,’ he said quietly. ‘Not that I have any knowledge of . . .’

‘Just. Be. Quiet,’ hissed Virgo menacingly. ‘Now, here’s what we’re going to do. On my count, we are all going to run against the wall. This cell has been here for millennia, it must have a structural weak spot. This is the most optimal way of finding it.’

‘Right,’ said Taurus officiously, ‘all those in favour—’

‘No!’ said Virgo firmly. ‘No more votes. It’s time for action. Everyone find a piece of wall.’

The Councillors looked around the small, square cell.

‘Who goes where?’ asked Libra. ‘I can draw a flow chart if that would help?’

The other Council members nodded enthusiastically, but Virgo started shoving them towards the cell walls. Within a few moments, they were all in place.

‘OK,’ said Virgo. ‘On my count, we are all going to run at the wall in front of us and find the weak spot. We can then focus our efforts on that weakness in order to break through the wall. Are you ready?’

A chorus of unenthused grunts answered her question.

‘So, in one . . . two . . . three . . . GO!’

As one, the Councillors ran backwards from their starting positions in order to take a run-up at the wall. And, as one, they all ran into one another in the middle of the cell, ending up on the floor in a heap of scowls, scales and ‘Snordlesnots’.

Virgo sank to the ground, pulling her long brown hair in exasperation.

‘This is hopeless,’ she wailed. ‘We’re going to be stuck in here for ever.’

‘Actually,’ said Capricorn the goat, putting a comforting hoof on her shoulder. ‘That’s just not true.’

‘It isn’t?’ said Virgo, jumping to her feet. ‘Then tell me the plan, how do we get out of here?’

‘We don’t,’ said Capricorn gently. ‘We’ll be here until the end of time.’

‘So what’s your point?’

‘You’re no longer immortal,’ smiled Capricorn. ‘So you won’t be here for ever. No, no, no – you’ll just be here long enough to die a painfully slow death from starvation.’

‘That’s not true!’ shouted one Gemini twin.

‘Thank goodness for that,’ Virgo sighed.

‘Dehydration will get her first,’ the other Gemini twin piped up. ‘Mortals can live ten days without food, but only three without water. I read that in a Christmas cracker.’

‘Thanks,’ said Virgo, slumping down to the floor once more.

‘You know what we really need,’ started Aries the golden ram, ‘is a great big—’

‘Plop!’

‘Really, child – your mortal toilet habits are no-one’s business but yours—’ Aries continued.

‘Shhhhh!’ said Virgo, leaping up and pricking her ears. ‘Did you hear that?’

‘Hear what?’ grumbled Taurus. ‘All anyone ever says in here is—’

‘Plop!’

‘There it is again!’ Virgo cheered. She’d know that voice anywhere!

‘Gorgy! Gorgy, is that you?’

‘PLLLLLLLLOOOOOOPPPPPPP!’ came the jubilant reply from her baby gorgon (in no way whatsoever her pet), who had been snatched by the Titans.

Virgo looked around the cell to see where the noise was coming from. High up, she spotted a tiny chink where the walls didn’t meet perfectly. How had she missed it? She rejoiced at the small stream of green slime that was beginning to trickle down the ancient rocks.

‘Quick,’ she said, ‘help me get up there.’

‘I’ll have to undertake a full health-and-safety assessment,’ sighed Pisces.

‘Right now, the biggest threat to your health and safety is me!’ snapped Virgo. ‘Now help me up.’

Slowly, and with the maximum amount of discussion and disagreement, the Councillors formed a sort of immortal ladder, which Virgo started tentatively to climb.

‘Ouch!’ snapped Taurus as she trod on his head. ‘Mind where you’re putting your feet!’

‘Mind where you’re putting your gigantic bum!’ moaned the Gemini twins as they struggled to support Sagittarius between them.

‘Stay still,’ groaned Virgo as she clambered up Cancer’s shell. ‘I’m nearly there . . .’

With one foot on Libra’s head and the other on Scorpio’s backside, Virgo finally reached the chink of light.

‘Gorgy!’ she cried, putting her eye to the crack and seeing the little gorgon standing proudly in the fiery wasteland of Tartarus beyond. ‘You found me!’

‘Mama!’ said Gorgy, stretching out his little arms.

Virgo felt her heart perform some sort of irregular rhythm at the sight of her p— Her professional acquaintance.

‘Sorry, Gorgy – Mama can’t give you a cuddle . . .’

‘Plop,’ said the baby gorgon, shaking his head and pointing to something Virgo couldn’t quite see. ‘Mama! Mama! MAMA!’

Virgo twisted her head as far as the small crevice would allow. Standing next to the youngster, similarly green and slimy, was a full-grown adult female gorgon. Her hair of snakes hissed sleepily around her head. Virgo gulped. This primitive creature was capable of untold harm if she were angered. Those snakes could turn Virgo to stone between two heartbeats. She would have to tread this negotiation very carefully.

‘HEL-LO,’ she said very slowly and loudly. She tried to sound as friendly, if still superior, as she could. This was, after all, an Elemental, the most common of the five categories of immortal.

‘HOW ARE YOU?’ she continued deliberately. If she was to establish meaningful communication with the creature, she would need to test its level of language skill with some simple questions and responses.

The adult gorgon stared at her curiously. Clearly this was a primitive species. Virgo was going to have to be very patient.

‘DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?’ she enquired.

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