‘Don’t I know it,’ said Hermes. ‘She’s the one that put me in that coma with the poisoned Hydra arrow. She and I have a score to settle. And I will settle it, never you fear.’

‘Really?’

‘You bet your lucky pants I will,’ Hermes vowed. ‘While there are chiselled abs on this body, I will, like, totes have my revenge.’

‘Good luck with that,’ said Charon, shipping his oars. ‘Here – we’re at the Underworld checkpoint. Security round here’s gone nuts – get your papers ready.’

The ship came to a gentle halt alongside a small booth on the banks of the River Styx. Cerberus, the three-headed hound of hell, poked his heads amiably out of the window.

‘All right, boys,’ he greeted them. ‘Long time no see.’

‘Cerberus, mate!’ said Hermes, meeting the hound’s outstretched paw for a fist-bump. ‘How’s it going?’

‘Oh, you know – the usual,’ replied Cerberus’s middle head. ‘Too many kids, not enough time. Wife wants us to move again. Says we need more space.’

‘She’s planning more kids?’ said Hermes.

‘She’s planning more clothes.’ Cerberus shook his right head. ‘I swear, pal, she burns through dresses like a phoenix burns through feathers.’

‘Well, if it keeps her happy,’ Hermes grinned.

‘It certainly keeps my credit-card company happy,’ groaned Cerberus’s left head. ‘I’ve had to take on extra security shifts just to keep up. Anyways – what you doing down here? It’s been an eon. And I didn’t think you had clearance no more?’

‘Official business,’ said Hermes, handing over the paperwork the Zodiac Council had provided. ‘It’s, like, totes important.’

‘I hear you, friend,’ said Cerberus. ‘I just need to take you through some vital security procedures before you can go through.’

‘Course, mate,’ said Hermes.

‘Right,’ announced Cerberus, clearing his throat. ‘Are you planning to do anything stupid or dangerous for the duration of your stay in the Underworld?’

‘No,’ replied Hermes uncertainly.

‘Great. Everything looks in order,’ said Cerberus, handing the sheaf of papers back with three smiles. ‘Sorry for the formality – can’t be too careful in these strange times. Wotcha, Hades.’

‘Hey,’ said Hades, looking over the other side of the boat.

‘Right – well, then, you’d best be on your way,’ said Cerberus, raising the barrier to allow them into the grey fog of the Underworld. ‘Good to see you.’

‘You too, mate,’ said Hermes, offering a friendly high-five. ‘And listen, if Mrs C ever wants some advice on some banging places to go shopping . . .’

‘Advice!’ laughed Cerberus. ‘The woman’s a walking credit-card bill! Mind how you go.’

Charon took up his oars and steered them onwards, through the swirling mists of the Underworld.

‘Cheery gaff, innit?’ said Hermes, looking out into the endless gloom.

‘I kinda like it,’ said Hades, looking around appreciatively.

‘Push on to Tartarus, Charon,’ Hermes ordered. ‘If Thanatos is there, that’s where we’re gonna find E.’