‘Mate,’ sighed Hermes, reclining in the Ship of Death, his winged hat flapping in the breeze as Charon, the immortal ferryman, rowed them briskly towards Tartarus. ‘I don’t mind telling you. This all has the whiff of an epic anti-bosh.’

‘Whaddya mean?’ said Hades, his eyes not moving from their course along the River Styx.

‘I dunno,’ said Hermes. ‘Something just feels . . . off. You know, like, when you’ve just eaten a Double Bacon Typhon-burger when you should have smashed out a workout.’

‘I could have told you all this was coming,’ Charon announced. ‘Saw it a mile off.’

‘Er, not being funny, mate,’ said Hermes, ‘but it might have been, like, totally helpful if you’d pointed that out.’

‘None of my business,’ sniffed Charon, pulling hard on his oars. ‘I’m a Neutral. I just keep quiet, me . . .’

‘Probably for the best,’ said Hermes. ‘After all, you don’t want—’

‘Although if anyone did ask my opinion—’

‘Which they didn’t . . .’

‘Then I coulda told ’em,’ Charon continued. ‘Thanatos. The stones. The mortal. Total recipe for disaster.’

Hermes rolled his eyes at Hades, who simply smiled back. His uncle was quiet today. Made a nice change.

‘Anyway, like you say, Charon mate,’ said the Messenger God, ‘best to keep our opinions to our—’

‘I mean, what was Zeus thinking?’ Charon exploded. ‘Getting Hypnos to steal the Chaos Stones off Thanatos, his own brother? Imprisoning the Daemon army in Tartarus? Forcing Hypnos to hide the stones around the world? Pythia’s prophecy warned him that it could all go pear-shaped, but would he listen? Absolute madness. But, like I say, I just keep it all to meself. No one cares what I think.’

‘Exactly,’ said Hermes. ‘I just hope E’s OK. He’s totes had, like, a massive trauma, and now he’s in Thanatos’s hands. It’s a proper boom-not. Gods only know what he might do. Do you really think he’d hand over the Chaos Stones?’

‘Yeah,’ said Hades firmly. ‘I do.’

‘Mate,’ sighed Hermes again. ‘How did it get to this? One minute we’re all playing happy families at Home Farm; the next, I have a kip for five minutes and it’s all gone to Hades in a handcart . . .’

‘Well, if you want my opinion,’ Charon piped up.

‘We don’t,’ said Hermes firmly.

‘If I’ve learnt one thing,’ smiled the God of the Underworld, ‘it’s never to underestimate a Daemon. What you gonna do?’

‘Well, first up, we need to get to E,’ said Hermes. ‘He’s my bruvva from anuvva muvva. I just hope I can get through his muddled nut before it’s too late. Then . . . well, then, we just get him and V the mega-boom out of there before Thanatos can get his mitts on the stones.’

‘What about Nyx?’ said Hades. ‘I’m telling you, Hoimes, you need to watch that broad like a hit musical. She’s dangerous.’